Attempt at conflict or communication?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I have read about charming and recycling but I honestly never thought it would happen with me. The last time I broke NC with my ex, which was over two months ago, the things that were said seemed like it insured I was painted darker than black and that I would never hear from her again as she already had a replacement.

Well this morning I received a text from her saying "You old high school buddy was in here drunk at 8 a.m. and running his mouth about you".

She did mention him by name and I know who she is talking about. He and I were friends back in high school however we stopped hanging out because he was a alcoholic and a drug addict. We are friends on social media but we don't hang out. I haven't spoken to him in a very long time (years)

My question is do you think this is a charming attempt? It sounded to me as an attempt to start conflict or reestablish some form of communication. Either way I have no intentions of responding to the text. I have read too many stories of how that is just a bad idea.

Thank you for reading and any advice you can offer.

[Arcturus81]

I have read about charming and recycling but I honestly never thought it would happen with me. The last time I broke NC with my ex, which was over two months ago, the things that were said seemed like it insured I was painted darker than black and that I would never hear from her again as she already had a replacement.

Well this morning I received a text from her saying "You old high school buddy was in here drunk at 8 a.m. and running his mouth about you".

She did mention him by name and I know who she is talking about. He and I were friends back in high school however we stopped hanging out because he was a alcoholic and a drug addict. We are friends on social media but we don't hang out. I haven't spoken to him in a very long time (years)

My question is do you think this is a charming attempt? It sounded to me as an attempt to start conflict or reestablish some form of communication. Either way I have no intentions of responding to the text. I have read too many stories of how that is just a bad idea.

Thank you for reading and any advice you can offer.

[ZeusRLX]

Such things are never an accident with them in my experience.

She is trying to pull you back in, stay away... .

They can always come back, sometimes many years later as they have in my case... .

[Turkish]

It sounds like she was annoyed by the guy and wanted you to fix it somehow (by contacting him, or maybe apologizing for his behavior). That she was triggered to contact you is her business to deal with.

[Arcturus81]

Thanks. I figured this was the case. A part of me thought that this was a chance to reconnect. I was disgusted with myself for thinking that. I realize now that I did the right thing by not responding. After our last conversation and the things she said and did I know that there is no chance that I will ever get back together with her. This was just her trying to see if I am a potential backup.

[Infared]

Thanks. I figured this was the case. A part of me thought that this was a chance to reconnect. I was disgusted with myself for thinking that. I realize now that I did the right thing by not responding. After our last conversation and the things she said and did I know that there is no chance that I will ever get back together with her. This was just her trying to see if I am a potential backup.

I think that you have it correct. Remember to think of a 7th-grade mindset. She uses "your" friend as an excuse to text you. So that way in her mind she has an out and she can blame the contact on you... .yet obviously it is her wanting to see if she still "has the hook set".  I believe that as soon as you show any sign of interest she will get the information she wanted and then shut you down hard.  That is what I have experienced.  There was absolutely no reason for her to contact you because she ran into this person. None at all.

[Arcturus81]

Thanks infared. I know you speak the truth. I am really proud of myself for not responding. Other than that one text I haven't heard a peep out of her. I hope she took the hint that I won't be just another play thing to her. However she has shown unstable behavior in the past so it may or may not be over. I just know now that I have the strength to say no to her. I took a look at how my life has been since she has been out of it and I can honestly say that things are looking up.