Hair of the (BPD) dog that bit you?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

When responding to a thread yesterday I mused that a BPD relationship might be ideal for someone looking for excitement but not a LTR - and that got me thinking.  There's an old saying that suggests that to avoid a bad hangover, another shot of the drink that made you feel bad is a potential remedy (hence the title of this thread).

My question is, if 6 months or more on you're still suffering from the 'hangover' of your failed BPD relationship, might a potential cure be another relationship with a pwBPD?   The reason why we are so devastated in the aftermath of the relationship is that we fully bought into the vision of the future they were selling us. If we had another relationship with a different pwBPD, might that not dislodge our current SO from our thoughts whilst we are free to enjoy the new idealization phase, protected by the knowledge that 'we won't get fooled again'?

Apologies if I'm offending anyone with this - that's not my intention. But for some people, maybe a controlled blast of BPD might provide the stimulus to remove the shackles of the past and finally move forward. A sort of 'shock therapy' treatment if you like. 

Thoughts guys?

[FannyB]

When responding to a thread yesterday I mused that a BPD relationship might be ideal for someone looking for excitement but not a LTR - and that got me thinking.  There's an old saying that suggests that to avoid a bad hangover, another shot of the drink that made you feel bad is a potential remedy (hence the title of this thread).

My question is, if 6 months or more on you're still suffering from the 'hangover' of your failed BPD relationship, might a potential cure be another relationship with a pwBPD?   The reason why we are so devastated in the aftermath of the relationship is that we fully bought into the vision of the future they were selling us. If we had another relationship with a different pwBPD, might that not dislodge our current SO from our thoughts whilst we are free to enjoy the new idealization phase, protected by the knowledge that 'we won't get fooled again'?

Apologies if I'm offending anyone with this - that's not my intention. But for some people, maybe a controlled blast of BPD might provide the stimulus to remove the shackles of the past and finally move forward. A sort of 'shock therapy' treatment if you like. 

Thoughts guys?

[Beach_Babe]

Possible, but only if you could dump them before devaluation started.

[FannyB]

Possible, but only if you could dump them before devaluation started.

That's exactly my point Beach_Babe. We'd recognise the red flags from the off, but at the first sign of real toxicity we could exit the relationship at that juncture. It might actually be empowering as that's what we really should have done first time around but we didn't know what we were dealing with then. 

[Hadlee]

My first thought was "hell no"... .the thought of getting tangled up with another pwBPD be it as a friendship or romantic relationship makes me shudder

Second thought is I'm wondering if you are onto something.  I would love nothing more for the thoughts of my exBPD BFF to be gone from my mind at the moment.  

The only thing I would be concerned about with another pwBPD is getting sucked completely in again  

Maybe a relationship with a pwBPD online would be safer?  

[mitatsu]

Isnt that just as bad behaviour as what hurt us?

Some believe Bpd's do indeed fall deeply in 'love' or their version of it from the start would we not be damaging them even more?

Just a thought 

[FannyB]

The only thing I would be concerned about with another pwBPD is getting sucked completely in again  

Hadlee - there are 2 preconditions to this concept:

1) You're in a bad place and have nothing to lose

2) You get what BPD is all about and have defence mechanisms in place.

Even then it would be tricky as most people who post on here are almost too nice for their own good. 

Mitatsu

I don't think it would be bad behaviour on a nons part. Isn't it just enforcing boundaries from the off? Sure, the pwBPD couldn't play out their full cycle as we'd leave at the start of devaluing and not get as far as them discarding us - but might this not help them learn some much needed lessons too? 

Just to reiterate, I am not trolling with this thread - this is just an idea that I find worthy of debate! 

[sirius]

When responding to a thread yesterday I mused that a BPD relationship might be ideal for someone looking for excitement but not a LTR - and that got me thinking.  There's an old saying that suggests that to avoid a bad hangover, another shot of the drink that made you feel bad is a potential remedy (hence the title of this thread).

My question is, if 6 months or more on you're still suffering from the 'hangover' of your failed BPD relationship, might a potential cure be another relationship with a pwBPD?   The reason why we are so devastated in the aftermath of the relationship is that we fully bought into the vision of the future they were selling us. If we had another relationship with a different pwBPD, might that not dislodge our current SO from our thoughts whilst we are free to enjoy the new idealization phase, protected by the knowledge that 'we won't get fooled again'?

Apologies if I'm offending anyone with this - that's not my intention. But for some people, maybe a controlled blast of BPD might provide the stimulus to remove the shackles of the past and finally move forward. A sort of 'shock therapy' treatment if you like. 

Thoughts guys?

3 months after my relationship ended, I had 2 short relationship with 2 pwBPD girls. The first one was 3 months after my break up and the second one was 10 months after the break up. Both relationship last only 2 months. I seen all the red flags from the begining till the end. I ended the relationship during the idolization stage, both of them. A lot of push and pull right off the start, a lot of fear of abandonment and things got off very fast.

After all that, both the relationship reminded me of my ex. It doesnt feel good and everything seems and feel so familiar. What I have learn from my experiment is that i knew what is coming next, every red flag was anticipated before it happens. I have also learn that after the end of the relationship (experiment r/s), they will come back and stalk or contact you that is unlike my ex.

If you are to start a r/s with pwBPD as a rebound, it cannot work. If it is for experimental purpose, don't get attached and you are able to see how things unfold very fast.

[Hadlee]

Even then it would be tricky as most people who post on here are almost too nice for their own good.  

Exactly!  

Thanks FannyB - your post has really made me think about things.  And do you know what?  For the first time this weekend I'm thinking about my own behavior rather than my pwBPD, thanks to you

I'm actually thinking about how I would handle another pwBPD now I know what I know.  Could I walk away in the middle of idealization or would the addiction to that take hold?  I'm just not sure.  Plus, I'm a softy and a sucker for a hard luck sob story - that's what got me to when I am now  So with a waif... .I'd be buggered!

Oh and as a side note... .the movie 'Stalker' has just started on the telly!  Yeah, that could be a sign for me not to play with the devil again

[FannyB]

Even then it would be tricky as most people who post on here are almost too nice for their own good.  

Exactly!  

Thanks FannyB - your post has really made me think about things.  And do you know what?  For the first time this weekend I'm thinking about my own behavior rather than my pwBPD, thanks to you

Hadlee

Glad to be of assistance.   I'm an inquisitive bugger and exploring these concepts really helps me as I consider whether I want to date again. I've had (what I suspect now to be) BPD gfs in the past and whilst it was tough, it was nowhere near as traumatic as with the last one as she's the only one I fully committed to.  On the flip side, I've noted several posters say that 'vanilla' relationships don't cut it for them after getting off the BPD rollercoaster of love.  Still plenty of learning for all of us to do methinks! 

[FannyB]

Sirius

Thanks for sharing this. Did you meet these borderlines online?  Forgot that stalking is a potential by-product of leaving a BPD relationship prematurely! 

[cosmonaut]

No.  I can't see how this creates anything positive.  Our refusal to look at ourselves and resolve our own internal issues are not going to be solved by anyone else.  I also detest the idea of using and even profiting from the profound suffering of another human being.  The way out is to focus on ourselves.  There is a reason we are stuck.  We need to find it.  Jumping into another relationship (BPD or not) is only putting off doing the work of healing.   

[Hadlee]

I also suspect that my most significant romantic relationship was with a BPD who displayed very strong narc traits.  My goodness... .he totally did a number on me.  

One thing I do have to thank my exBPD BFF for is opening my eyes to personality disorders.  Without her I would not have found the missing piece of the puzzle as to what on earth happened in my relationship all those years ago.  

I must say though, the experience with my exBPD BFF has caused much more pain than that of my (suspected) exBPD boyfriend.  Even after being head over heels in love with the exbf and even losing a baby, I've suffered more at the hands of the BFF.  Perhaps that's due to time - I was with him for a year, however had been best friends with her for 4 years.  It also could have to do with the fact I still see the ex friend as we work for the same company whereas I left the country where my exbf lives and went complete NC.  

On the flip side, I've noted several posters say that 'vanilla' relationships don't cut it for them after getting off the BPD rollercoaster of love.

Yeah I think that's true.  The guys I dated after the suspected BPD were lovely enough, however the relationships felt boring in comparison.  I now realize there is A LOT to be said for a 'boring' relationship

Sirius

Thanks for sharing this. Did you meet these borderlines online?  Forgot that stalking is a potential by-product of leaving a BPD relationship prematurely!

 

Isn't there also potential for stalking during the devaluation stage?  Especially, if they start idealizing again?

[FannyB]

I must say though, the experience with my exBPD BFF has caused much more pain than that of my (suspected) exBPD boyfriend.

Hadlee

I think it's a timing issue too. The longer you spend with them, the farther they worm themselves into your psyche. If you took drugs for 4 years it would obviously be harder to recover from than if you only took them for a year. Same principle really! 

[FannyB]

No.  I can't see how this creates anything positive.  Our refusal to look at ourselves and resolve our own internal issues are not going to be solved by anyone else.  I also detest the idea of using and even profiting from the profound suffering of another human being.  The way out is to focus on ourselves.  There is a reason we are stuck.  We need to find it.  Jumping into another relationship (BPD or not) is only putting off doing the work of healing.   

Cosmonaut

Thanks for your reply. I am sure this would be view of the majority of posters on this database - the establishment view, if you like. I am not saying you're wrong at all, but I am thinking of those that simply won't heal however hard they try.  Surely there's got to be some hope for them other than 'more of the same'?   We are all different and I am just trying to explore whether there are any 'alternative remedies' out there. 

I was suffering from depression many years ago and it took a shock event to 'blast' me out of it. Was just thinking along the same lines here.

Fanny

[Jack2727]

LOL Hell no!

I have never experienced anything like this before. I have had breakups but nothing like this. Prior to my Colorado ex, I had experienced what I thought was the worst breakup of all time. It was the anger I experienced of that ex that catapulted me into my relationship with the pwBPD/NPD.

A bit of advice for all of you. The first month or so at times was magical. It was like I finally met the right person. The explosion and months of fall out have not been worth it.

The only way I believe you can truly heal is go through the fall out and slowly rebuild. Yes, that is the hard way. It has been extremely hard. I think you need to have the ability to recognize your codependant traits and see the people with PD's.

[sirius]

Sirius

Thanks for sharing this. Did you meet these borderlines online?  Forgot that stalking is a potential by-product of leaving a BPD relationship prematurely! 

No, I did not meet them online. I met my ex online tho. I stayed away from online dating sites. I met them both in a bar i use to go. And after that, I went on to meet women that was healthy too as well as BPD traits type, I can see the obvious on the first meet. It also seems that they are attracted to me  like they are seeking a caretaker. A lot of sob stories that they are the victim and immediately want to latch on and the next thing is demanding to be taken care of after a week or less. The texting is almost every hour or so. The same kind of dance, the same kind of stories and everything is so familiar.

[jhkbuzz]

When responding to a thread yesterday I mused that a BPD relationship might be ideal for someone looking for excitement but not a LTR - and that got me thinking.  There's an old saying that suggests that to avoid a bad hangover, another shot of the drink that made you feel bad is a potential remedy (hence the title of this thread).

My question is, if 6 months or more on you're still suffering from the 'hangover' of your failed BPD relationship, might a potential cure be another relationship with a pwBPD?   The reason why we are so devastated in the aftermath of the relationship is that we fully bought into the vision of the future they were selling us. If we had another relationship with a different pwBPD, might that not dislodge our current SO from our thoughts whilst we are free to enjoy the new idealization phase, protected by the knowledge that 'we won't get fooled again'?

Apologies if I'm offending anyone with this - that's not my intention. But for some people, maybe a controlled blast of BPD might provide the stimulus to remove the shackles of the past and finally move forward. A sort of 'shock therapy' treatment if you like. 

Thoughts guys?

At 6 months post b/u I was still "suffering from the hangover" of my (8 year) BPD r/s. I was feeling better at times, but surprised at how the pain could still creep up on me.

About 3 months post b/u I tried to start dating - I met someone, dated for close to two months, and realized that I was emotionally exhausted and in no way ready for a new r/s.  I decided to take a year off of dating, continue to see my T and work on understanding myself.

I'm now 10 months post b/u and those four additional months have made ALL the difference.  I feel good, I'm enjoying my life, I'm ready to date, and when I think of my ex it's more with a sadness that belongs to my past.

Rather than the "quick fix" of another r/s (especially with a pwBPD, which brings a boatload of hellish pain), do the work on yourself - try to determine what kept you in a r/s with someone who couldn't reciprocate so you don't unintentionally repeat your last r/s.

I can't imagine wanting to repeat it intentionally.

[cosmonaut]

Cosmonaut

Thanks for your reply. I am sure this would be view of the majority of posters on this database - the establishment view, if you like. I am not saying you're wrong at all, but I am thinking of those that simply won't heal however hard they try.  Surely there's got to be some hope for them other than 'more of the same'?   We are all different and I am just trying to explore whether there are any 'alternative remedies' out there. 

I was suffering from depression many years ago and it took a shock event to 'blast' me out of it. Was just thinking along the same lines here.

Fanny

There's nothing inherently wrong with trying to think outside the box.  The reason that most members won't heal, however, is that they refuse to let go and address their own core wound.  I see this over and over again on the forum.   And I understand why.  I went through it myself.  It's hard to let go of someone we not only love, but also someone who was providing tremendous soothing to a deep core wound inside of us.  This may not be universally true, but in my experience here it is an overwhelming theme.  The truth is that for most of us, we are not so very different from our ex.  We also needed their soothing.  We are raging at the loss of our idealization and mirroring.  We are seeking to put off the agony of being returned to the state prior to the relationship when we did not have this, and were all alone with the pain.  This is why the bond is so loaded.  This is why it hurts so much.  Going back to the well is not going to fix this anymore than a pwBPD finding the next partner will fix things for them.  That's what is so important to realize, and why we have to focus on ourselves.  I have seen this with my own eyes in my own self.  This is not just theory for me.  I've lived it, and the reason I am here is to try and help others in that process as the senior members helped me in my own journey.

[BorisAcusio]

Cosmonaut

Thanks for your reply. I am sure this would be view of the majority of posters on this database - the establishment view, if you like. I am not saying you're wrong at all, but I am thinking of those that simply won't heal however hard they try.  Surely there's got to be some hope for them other than 'more of the same'?   We are all different and I am just trying to explore whether there are any 'alternative remedies' out there. 

I was suffering from depression many years ago and it took a shock event to 'blast' me out of it. Was just thinking along the same lines here.

Fanny

There's nothing inherently wrong with trying to think outside the box.  The reason that most members won't heal, however, is that they refuse to let go and address their own core wound.  I see this over and over again on the forum.   And I understand why.  I went through it myself.  It's hard to let go of someone we not only love, but also someone who was providing tremendous soothing to a deep core wound inside of us.  This may not be universally true, but in my experience here it is an overwhelming theme.  The truth is that for most of us, we are not so very different from our ex.  We also needed their soothing.  We are raging at the loss of our idealization and mirroring.  We are seeking to put off the agony of being returned to the state prior to the relationship when we did not have this, and were all alone with the pain.  This is why the bond is so loaded.  This is why it hurts so much.  Going back to the well is not going to fix this anymore than a pwBPD finding the next partner will fix things for them.  That's what is so important to realize, and why we have to focus on ourselves.  I have seen this with my own eyes in my own self.  This is not just theory for me.  I've lived it, and the reason I am here is to try and help others in that process as the senior members helped me in my own journey.

There's a lot wisdom here, cosmonaut.

[FannyB]

This is not just theory for me.  I've lived it, and the reason I am here is to try and help others in that process as the senior members helped me in my own journey.

Cosmonaut

I know it's not just theory - there's plenty of evidence to show it works in practice on these very boards. However, it's extremely unlikely that it will work for everyone. If you're one of the few it won't work for, then I still think you deserve an alternative shot at redemption - whatever form that may take.

Fanny

[ZeusRLX]

When responding to a thread yesterday I mused that a BPD relationship might be ideal for someone looking for excitement but not a LTR - and that got me thinking.  There's an old saying that suggests that to avoid a bad hangover, another shot of the drink that made you feel bad is a potential remedy (hence the title of this thread).

Yes, absolutely (as far as excitement). I know this has been true for me.

However, it's not easy to find a BPD that ticks the right boxes... .for me, anyway. Takes some time cause she also have to be smart, etc etc. So in my experience it just takes some time for the right one to come along.

My question is, if 6 months or more on you're still suffering from the 'hangover' of your failed BPD relationship, might a potential cure be another relationship with a pwBPD?   The reason why we are so devastated in the aftermath of the relationship is that we fully bought into the vision of the future they were selling us. If we had another relationship with a different pwBPD, might that not dislodge our current SO from our thoughts whilst we are free to enjoy the new idealization phase, protected by the knowledge that 'we won't get fooled again'?

You're absolutely right. I actually delete all old pictures after my last BPD ex once they are replaced by a NEW BPD ex... .

And yes, the first disappointment was the worst for me simply because I thought the whole thing was real. The next ones I HOPED were real but I also knew my taste in women so I knew that there was a high likelihood of the whole thing coming crashing down.

So, when it happened, I wasn't upset.

I think I was in love not with a particular person but with a dream. And that first time of course is the most memorable one.

But let me tell you, first cut is the deepest. I have had fun with other BPD people but none of them came close to the excitement of the very first one.

In part it's because I was so young, in part because I really believed the whole thing was real.

Don't get me wrong, every BPD fantasy is beautiful and unforgettable in its own way.

But the first time was... .wow. As far as feelings for a woman go, that was the absolute peak.

I think BPD women like me so much because I match their emotional intensity and vice versa.

[ZeusRLX]

My first thought was "hell no"... .the thought of getting tangled up with another pwBPD be it as a friendship or romantic relationship makes me shudder

Second thought is I'm wondering if you are onto something.  I would love nothing more for the thoughts of my exBPD BFF to be gone from my mind at the moment.  

The only thing I would be concerned about with another pwBPD is getting sucked completely in again  

Maybe a relationship with a pwBPD online would be safer?  

This is the trick. If you at least SUSPECT this is not real... .then even when the devaluation starts, you are ready for it, you have been through this before.

I just lost the "love of my life" (another one) and I'm not suffering... .I've been through it before.

[ZeusRLX]

No.  I can't see how this creates anything positive.  Our refusal to look at ourselves and resolve our own internal issues are not going to be solved by anyone else.  I also detest the idea of using and even profiting from the profound suffering of another human being.  The way out is to focus on ourselves.  There is a reason we are stuck.  We need to find it.  Jumping into another relationship (BPD or not) is only putting off doing the work of healing.   

I agree with that too.

I certainly don't want to use or hurt anyone and I would never do that.

For me personally, I need to BELIEVE on some level that the relationship has long term potential.

So, I would never consciously say "I know this isn't going to work but I will just have some fun with her and tell her I love her etc etc".

I'd never do that.

But what if she's smart? She's beautiful? And we have this amazing chemistry with her both emotional and intellectual? Would I mislead myself too so I'd look away?

The answer is "yes".

I was completely genuine and I believed in every relationship I was in, I never wanted to hurt them or use them in any way. But I always came in after the premise that "maybe they don't have BPD" or "they are on the spectrum but perhaps the relationship can work".

Then once the craziness would start, I would confirm my fears and end it there.

It's just a coincidence that we enjoy the good parts while getting out on time before the bad parts start. Because I feel like this is what they are good at, the initial romance/connection. And it just happens to be my favorite part as well.

[ZeusRLX]

This is not just theory for me.  I've lived it, and the reason I am here is to try and help others in that process as the senior members helped me in my own journey.

Cosmonaut

I know it's not just theory - there's plenty of evidence to show it works in practice on these very boards. However, it's extremely unlikely that it will work for everyone. If you're one of the few it won't work for, then I still think you deserve an alternative shot at redemption - whatever form that may take.

Fanny

Yes, I just prefer BPD women, they match my intensity and we connect really really well.

I don't know if it's any kind of a core wound with me at this point. It used to be.

But I suffer very little now, I enjoy the ride and when it's over, it's over.

And the BPD person is happy too, I know how to make them happy (if only for a few months) so I think it works out well for everyone.

That's the thing. Not everyone is meant for marriage. Not everyone is meant for a long term relationship.

Some people prefer emotional intensity/fantasy to reality.

That person happens to be me and that desire is matched by all the amazing BPD women out there... .

You just need to know when to fold.

[FannyB]

I certainly don't want to use or hurt anyone and I would never do that.

Zeus

My thoughts exactly. Not willing to tolerate BS and hurting another purposefully are two very different things.

Besides, I would guess you're far more likely to be a good fit for a pwBPD than a clueless non (who would get hurt), a player (who would hurt them) or a narc/sociopath.  Or is the correct attitude to adopt that a pwBPD should be deemed undatable unless they are in treatment? 

[ZeusRLX]

Zeus

My thoughts exactly. Not willing to tolerate BS and hurting another purposefully are two very different things.

Yeah, exactly. Most of mine usually appear more or less normal initially. At that point I get involved to see what comes of it. But once I can't be in denial about it anymore, I get out.

Besides, I would guess you're far more likely to be a good fit for a pwBPD than a clueless non (who would get hurt), a player (who would hurt them) or a narc/sociopath.  Or is the correct attitude to adopt that a pwBPD should be deemed undatable unless they are in treatment? 

As far as undateable, I don't know if therapy helps much. One of mine was in it and while it stopped some downright criminal activities like stealing... .she was still utterly incapable of any kind of long term relationship... .

As far as undateable... .it depends what the goals are, you know?

If someone is WILLING to go through hell with them and put up with lying, cheating, raging, etc etc... .if that is worth it to them... .then okay and if BPD person is willing to get treatment, that's a big plus. I will not put up with lying/cheating/raging so once that starts and I've confirmed my suspicions, I'm usually out.

But I really enjoy the romance/chemistry part of it in the beginning (and so do they). Like any relationship! But when the time comes you just have to be honest and say "this was too good to be true, it's not healthy so I'm folding".

As far as the experience, I think that's a very insightful point. A BPD woman could break a guy who has zero experience with that kind of stuff. But BPD women cannot hurt me. And I don't hurt them. I obviously have some kind of connection with them but I just disengage when I know it's no longer healthy to stay in it... .or sometimes they do it for me, which I don't mind.

Because I know... .their feelings were real but now it's no to something else. And I don't get mad, don't get resentful, don't take it personally, this is what they do.

The dream is over... .until the next time.

[jhkbuzz]

It's just a coincidence that we enjoy the good parts while getting out on time before the bad parts start. Because I feel like this is what they are good at, the initial romance/connection. And it just happens to be my favorite part as well.

Perhaps it's not a coincidence.  Perhaps you share the same level of emotional maturity, so you are drawn to one another and the connection works for the both of you.

[BorisAcusio]

Then once the craziness would start, I would confirm my fears and end it there.

It's just a coincidence that we enjoy the good parts while getting out on time before the bad parts start. Because I feel like this is what they are good at, the initial romance/connection. And it just happens to be my favorite part as well.

That's very similar to what gamblers and drug addicts think, getting out before the odds catch up with them, and that's where they/we miserably fail.

Not so suprising, given the facts that addictive drugs and gambling and romantic relationships rewire neural circuits in similar ways.

[ZeusRLX]

It's just a coincidence that we enjoy the good parts while getting out on time before the bad parts start. Because I feel like this is what they are good at, the initial romance/connection. And it just happens to be my favorite part as well.

Perhaps it's not a coincidence.  Perhaps you share the same level of emotional maturity, so you are drawn to one another and the connection works for the both of you.

We definitely share something, there is no doubt about that. Emotional intensity and an affinity for this overwhelming, self consuming, too good to be true passion is one for sure.

And the connection does work for both of us short term, absolutely.

[Madison66]

I'll give you my take after being 18 months out of a 3+ year r/s with a uBPD/NPD ex gf.  I had a couple short r/s experiences within the first 6 or months of the b/u.  One person (non PD), with whom I still friends with just happened at a time I wasn't ready for a r/s and she was.  I was totally straight with her and she was totally cool about it.  The second r/s (2 or 3 months) was with a "wild child" BPD (she admitted at the end) and I ignored many red flags!  She raged on me one day and I ran for the hills saying to myself "What the heck are you doing, dude?"  Things changed radically r/s wise for me at that point.  

Ok, so there are some things at play that many here may agree with:

1. It sounds like it would be an easy solution to missing someone, especially a BPDx, by replacing them with another pwBPD or short lived BPD r/s.  It also sounds like what my ex gf has been doing the last year and half with attempting to replace me with another non PD and co-dependent person.  What is the difference?

2. Whether it's a drug, work, exercise, r/s or other type of addiction, if you keep going back to something even though there is trauma and it adversely affects your life, then you are addicted.  Purposely choosing BPD dates is like a drug addict saying "if I just get one more hit or just some small hits I'll feel better and then get clean".  Good luck on that one... .

3. What are the risks with intentionally seeking BPD dates to help you lesson your hangover from your previous BPD r/s?  You may find out your co-dependent, white knight personality can't resist diving back in deep.  Another may be that you "f up" and end up with a lifetime tie to this intended short lived BPD r/s (pregnancy, STD, etc.).  Even more so, you just keep spinning while you choose to be with dates or partners that can't function in a healthy, reciprocating love r/s.  

That may all sound "preachy", but I think I would be fooling myself and anyone here on this board would be fooling themselves by thinking it would be wise or ok to go back to the "hair of the dog that bit you".  I can't go there... .