i am not able to initiate NC... need help

[indraniparui]

My partner shows undiagnosed BPD traits, he's not physically or verbally abusive but he's turned our perfect relationship to a joke. I have no words to explain the loss. His family dint like me much before we got married but now that we have separated they want me to hang on. I am no longer staying with my partner and its been 6 months. Its him who always calls n leaves me confused. He says he can't come back to this marriage but he wants to be my friend.

Anyways, I want to go NC with him so that he gets a clear message that I am not his doormat. But his family pressurizes me to attend all the family functions. I dont want to kills my marriage hence I am unable to make his folks upset but I want my husband to know that he needs to stop his action n return back for healing.

Please help!

[patientandclear]

Indraniparui: you should post this question on the Staying board. They will be able to advise you. Here, most will advise you TO give up on your marriage. Good luck!

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Indraniparui, I don't want to be nit-picky with you.  But I do want to "stick with the facts" about the title to your post.  Just because you have not initiated NC doesn't mean you are not able. 

I am not suggesting you should or shouldn't initiate NC.

But I do want to sugest that you ARE, in fact, ABLE to do so... .if and when you choose to do so.  You simply have not as of yet.  Which is different than being unable. 

I think this distinction is an important reminder of who we are as people.  "Haven't" does not equal "can't!"

Hang in there.  You are not alone!