Thanks for the success story. I and others need to hear them. I frequent this site whenever I feel bad and seeing these stories gives me hope. I try to post positive things on other new topics as well. People need to see that we don't need to be defined by these damaged vicious creatures who lash out at those that care about them. Every single person on this site is here because they tried to love someone who is unlovable. We are the ones who tried our damndest and got nothing in return except heartache, betrayal, and pain. I root for everyone here to get better because they deserve it for trying to love and help someone who was so far gone that they themselves don't even believe that they deserve love.
Not just that but everyone here is now second guessing loving someone after whats happened. anyone whose spent more than 3 hours reading on this site knows the answer. Its not your fault. We all did things in relationships that probably deserve review in the future because everyone makes mistakes but the bottom line is these people don't love the same way we tried to with real feelings and attachments, they put up the appearance of love to survive or to try and gain some kind of upper hand for whatever is going on. Its actually frightening to me to see my ex's Facebook that after being engaged having her parents tear up her front yard for a wedding area that now she's moved on with heart faces for the next victim its being totally removed, being with others and finally getting your own life back that everyone here will see WOW all that time I spent fighting for something I thought I wanted I never want to go back to again.
I just hope people here put faith in themselves, that if they try to meet new people and really push themselves to stop worrying about something that wasn't real, regardless of what that person says when they're trying to hold you down, or recycle they'll realize there is a whole world of people who aren't like that just waiting.
This site is an amazing place to learn that it wasn't all on us, and what we don't want. After that though its up to us to use this information to remove ourselves from the grasp they placed on us which wasn't a hold out of love, it was a hold out of survival, and instinct. If you had the capacity to care about these people for any length of time, you certainly have the capacity to get out, meet new people, and really see how that can shed light on their actions when they come back around.
I heard it all and read it all being here, oh your fine, it'll be better, but I didn't want it to be true so I sat but once you're out you feel 1000% better. I hope everyone here can reach that point sooner rather than later.