Hiya Butterfly Girll
It did help me understand what I must have gone through when I was 5. The synchronicity of us both going through this in the same room some how makes me feel that for some reason it was God's will.
Were you too put in a cage? If so, do you have any memories of it?
Part of my stress these days is never knowing which of my son's personalities I am going to be dealing with.
That uncertainty is difficult and can be quite stressful indeed. Unfortunately we can't change or control our BPD loved ones, but we can control ourselves and prepare ourselves as best as possible for whatever scenario that will play out. And practice mindfulness of course like lbjnltx said I've found that meditation has helped me better deal with stress.
The day after this insightful correspondence he was angry again because we could not afford his medicine. He breaks out in clusters of cysts without Humira so right now he is in a lot of pain. Some of his bad mood is understandable. I just wish I was not his scapegoat. The medicine itself is stressful for me. Humira caused the death of my daughter.
I am very sorry that your daughter died Butterfly Girl. Losing a child is never easy. Since the exact same medication your son is using now caused your daughter's death, I can totally understand how this would trigger you. Do you feel like you've been able to properly mourn the death of your daughter?
Good news, I just bought the book "Walking on Eggshells" and can't wait to read it.
When it comes to dealing with BPD, knowledge truly is power so this is good news indeed!
