Any 50+ members here dealing with a breakup with a BPD partner?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hello,

Appreciate all the advice and comments from the members here.  I'm 60.  :)ecision making and dealing with a breakup at 60 can be different than earlier in life, so I would appreciate hearing about any experiences from anyone here close to this age.

First of all, I remarried about 7 years ago and figured out after a few years of extremely painful going that my wife is unambiguously BPD.  Without any doubt whatsoever, so I've gotten past that realization.  I'd be glad to answer any questions about it, but unfortunately it has been said here many, many times.  No counseling or argument or drugs or my support will ever change her destructive behavior so it's down to me.  Stay or go; and how to deal with leaving her at this late stage of my life.  The only advantage to staying is that it avoids another highly stressful event, and I am pretty tired at this point at having to deal with stressful events in my life.  Staying however is continuing to take a toll on my physical and mental health so I am being forced to take some action.

So my questions to the forum are:

- If you are or were in a similar situation, 50 or older and leaving a BPDer, how did you deal with it?

- Has anyone here had any luck finding a therapist or counselor that could help current or former spouses or SOs of BPDers?  How did you find them?

Thanks in advance!

[MidwestDave]

Hello,

Appreciate all the advice and comments from the members here.  I'm 60.  :)ecision making and dealing with a breakup at 60 can be different than earlier in life, so I would appreciate hearing about any experiences from anyone here close to this age.

First of all, I remarried about 7 years ago and figured out after a few years of extremely painful going that my wife is unambiguously BPD.  Without any doubt whatsoever, so I've gotten past that realization.  I'd be glad to answer any questions about it, but unfortunately it has been said here many, many times.  No counseling or argument or drugs or my support will ever change her destructive behavior so it's down to me.  Stay or go; and how to deal with leaving her at this late stage of my life.  The only advantage to staying is that it avoids another highly stressful event, and I am pretty tired at this point at having to deal with stressful events in my life.  Staying however is continuing to take a toll on my physical and mental health so I am being forced to take some action.

So my questions to the forum are:

- If you are or were in a similar situation, 50 or older and leaving a BPDer, how did you deal with it?

- Has anyone here had any luck finding a therapist or counselor that could help current or former spouses or SOs of BPDers?  How did you find them?

Thanks in advance!

[mrsrebel]

Hello, I am 59 and dealing with a breakup, so sorry you have had to deal with BPD. I think the older we are the worse it seems.