Witness the lies

[meantcorn34]

I frequently will be in a group of people including my son, or just alone talking with my BPDs 22 when he comes out with statements that are not true. These are innocuous things, but false. Like he'll talk about something that happened and will insert a person into the story who wasn't there. Or we might reminisce and he'll talk about places where we never went insisting we did.

I'm not sure how to respond. Does he realize the difference between his stories and reality? Usually I let it go and say nothing, but wonder if you am making things worse by not confronting the issue. What should I do?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

That's a tough one meantcorn.  Unless it is a harmful untruth I would not address it.  If it is a harmful untruth I might gently challenge it by saying "I don't remember it that way".  or "I don't remember so and so being there".

lbj

[madmom]

My daughter was the queen of lying.  I know how frustrating that is.   Over time, I have found that confrontation usually doesn't help the situation.  I agree with lbj and I would say something like, "are you sure about that, because I don't remember it that way"  "I thought it was... ." if they disagreed I would just let it go with something like, "wow, I sure thought it was different than that".  Sometimes I noticed with my daughter when she painted herself into a corner, she didn't know how to get herself out, so by saying gently---some of the things I mentioned about they got another opportunity to change the story without losing face.   I know that isn't much help---I hope you see improvements.