got emails - looking for thoughts

[Depression = 72% of members]

Finally took everyone's advice and blocked her.  Have been in a good place and, although she's texted from time to time with no response from me, I haven't felt triggered.  Mostly, I got tired of the stress of not responding and just blocked. 

As anticipated, I started to get emails to my work account (which I can't block... .we work for hte same company). 

First: "I know things are different now and I know you have no interest in our friendship, but I just want you to know that I am thankful for everything.  Everything."

Second: "Found old emails.  Made me smile.  Hope you are well."

About four days apart. 

Not responding of course, but this is getting under my skin.  Hoping for thoughts and support.

BNTS

[BacknthSaddle]

Finally took everyone's advice and blocked her.  Have been in a good place and, although she's texted from time to time with no response from me, I haven't felt triggered.  Mostly, I got tired of the stress of not responding and just blocked. 

As anticipated, I started to get emails to my work account (which I can't block... .we work for hte same company). 

First: "I know things are different now and I know you have no interest in our friendship, but I just want you to know that I am thankful for everything.  Everything."

Second: "Found old emails.  Made me smile.  Hope you are well."

About four days apart. 

Not responding of course, but this is getting under my skin.  Hoping for thoughts and support.

BNTS

[rotiroti]

Getting under your skin. you nailed it



what email client do you use at work? Many programs allow you to create filters. You can send it straight to the trash

[WhatJustHappened?]

As much as I hate to admit it, a small part of me would be happy that I was still being acknowledged. Isn't that messed up?

Back to you. What is it that you want to have happen? If you truly want NC, I would set up a rule in your email to move them to a folder or delete them. I would be cordial if you have to work together but keep the in-person exchanges boring and uneventful. Get her to move on. And again, if you work on a daily basis together, I would consider making a job change (easy for me to say of course). Otherwise this will never be over.

[rotiroti]

As much as I hate to admit it, a small part of me would be happy that I was still being acknowledged. Isn't that messed up?

Back to you. What is it that you want to have happen? If you truly want NC, I would set up a rule in your email to move them to a folder or delete them. I would be cordial if you have to work together but keep the in-person exchanges boring and uneventful. Get her to move on. And again, if you work on a daily basis together, I would consider making a job change (easy for me to say of course). Otherwise this will never be over.

of course that's not messed up. I mean how could they move on with such disregard right? I just know my BPDex doesn't process the way we do so you can't expect them to react the same way either... .stay strong 

[fromheeltoheal]

My ex continued to send me messages for about 9 months after I left her, and as I got some distance and learned about the disorder all of the messages became transparent and ridiculous, and most importantly, had no impact on me except curiosity and amusement.

If you look at it from the perspective of a borderline trying to retain an attachment, because attachments are absolutely everything to borderlines, it can desensitize you to the emails and actually become amusing.  And you can even make it a game, since god knows we could use a little fun after all we've been through.

"Found old emails.  Made me smile.  Hope you are well."

Translation: "I have emotions I can't soothe right now, so I used old emails and idealizing you made me feel better, and 'hope you are well' is pure bait to see if you may be of use to me again."

Pretty funny when you think about it... .

[Kelli Cornett]

,

[BorisAcusio]

"Found old emails.  Made me smile.  Hope you are well."

Translation: "I have emotions I can't soothe right now, so I used old emails and idealizing you made me feel better, and 'hope you are well' is pure bait to see if you may be of use to me again."

That pretty much sums it up. I personally blocked her email address to avoid these kind of situations. A message sent, a call is placed, the tension released. They don't sit in the darkness thinking of you all day, they spin the wheel further to the next guy in the line, and could be laughing with him 30 mins later like nothing ever happened.