she wont give up

[chelseafc]

Anyway my BPD has been threatening self harm for a while now. She tried to run across the road the other day and deliberately get hit by a bus. Then that night she sent photos of herself with a knife and was ready to kill herself. So I raced over and restrained her. I spent the night to stop her from doing anything drastic but the next day she was inconsolable... .so this morning I saw her messages... .she had the knife again and was ready to kill herself... .so I called the police and paramedics... .it was the hardest thing. They called me and said she was hysterical, she was going crazy... .Anyway everyone had a chat to her the police officer, the ambulance officer, doctors but she claims they all said that "ONLY I can help her". I want her to move on but her reply was "I don't care what happens, I would be waiting for you at home, no matter what happens the police can do whatever they like they can arrest me, anything to be in your arms... .How can I walk away from this toxic relationship?

[fromheeltoheal]

By walking away.

Think attachments with borderlines, they are everything, and sounds like she's triggered with abandonment fears and exhibiting irrational behavior to try and retain an attachment with you, to the point of needing to be with you physically.  Borderlines lack object constancy too, meaning that when you aren't there physically she has a hard time connecting with you and the relationship emotionally, like they don't exist.  Borderlines also do things like turn to medical professionals for attention, i.e. attachment.  Doesn't sound like she's truly suicidal by what you wrote, more attention seeking and desperation to feel the attachment with you, but in any case she's off the rails, and you did ask, so the best way is leave without causing any damage and stay gone.  You are not the person to provide help right now, but you might tell people who know her what's going on on your way out.

[Turkish]

They all said that only you can help her. That's what she said.

It's emotional blackmail to the extreme to threaten suicide or self harm. You did the right thing by calling the professionals. You restraining her, however, could be viewed as domestic violence. That's a dangerous line to walk. What's your living situation, do you feel safe?

[chelseafc]

They all said that only you can help her. That's what she said.

It's emotional blackmail to the extreme to threaten suicide or self harm. You did the right thing by calling the professionals. You restraining her, however, could be viewed as domestic violence. That's a dangerous line to walk. What's your living situation, do you feel safe?

We both live alone but she is in a share place. So her house mates restrained her in the first place and then I did it too... .obviously I don't feel safe. Only when she is happy and non threatening but the moment I try to back away it will happen again so I will have to walk away this time.

[Turkish]

Trust your gut/intuition. Emotionally, you're enmeshed. Understandably. Physically, if you don't feel safe, then you aren't. Do you fear her seeking you out where you live?

[chelseafc]

Trust your gut/intuition. Emotionally, you're enmeshed. Understandably. Physically, if you don't feel safe, then you aren't. Do you fear her seeking you out where you live?

she knows where I live. She just wont take break up for an answer... .

[Turkish]

Trust your gut/intuition. Emotionally, you're enmeshed. Understandably. Physically, if you don't feel safe, then you aren't. Do you fear her seeking you out where you live?

she knows where I live. She just wont take break up for an answer... .

Have you read this?

Article 10: Leaving a Partner with Borderline Personality Disorder

Bland. Boring. Emotionless.

Since there is a risk of DV, it might be good to protect yourself as well:

Safety First

I know you didn't "sign up" for this. None of us did. There comes a point when we need to protect ourselves, regardless of our lingering feelings for our mates.