That can be a good thing too Awakened; it's a great way for us to see how we're doing with our detachment when we are 'presented' with surprises like that, a great way to check in. And moving forward, after you decide how you are going to use this to move forward, you can never go to that site again, just remove it from your life, or another school if thought is to keep going until you become desensitized to it. How are you feeling about it now, have you washed it out?
Hi FHTH,
Ya, it's pretty much washed out now.
These tests of my current detachment state have been happening a lot lately.
Like this one->
At the grocery store I shop at I keep running into a woman that looks like my ex. It's so bizarre. This woman looks almost exactly like my ex. She could easily pass for her twin sister. What's the odds of this happening?
First time I saw her on an aisle at the store I instantly thought of course it was my ex. I had a two second debate with myself whether I should avoid the aisle to be away from her or not. I thought though... .who cares. I have a right to be there and she is nobody to me now and I am not walking one foot out of the way because of her at that moment. So I walk down the aisle to get something and I see that she looks a little bit different. Took me a while to even notice the difference. Maybe she had a tiny bit of plastic surgery?... .I thought. Very weird. No this is not her even though it looks almost exactly like her. Another thing is that this woman is pregnant. So she looks like my x wife would be if she was pregnant. My ex's demands for a baby immediately or else from me caused a lot of hell and arguments and maybe even doomed us. So it's even more weird seeing this.
I saw this woman there the last two times too. Three times in a row.
Another one ->
My BPD wife and I had a very special song at our wedding which carried much meaning to us. It was the key wedding song of the ceremony.
Yesterday at work a girl there was playing some music that she had downloaded on her I-phone. Sometimes we can listen to music at my work. She played music for hours. At the end of the day when one of her songs was playing she walked over to me and asked me if I liked that song. It was our wedding song! Pretty weird? Out of all the songs she played that day she asked me about that one just out of the blue. She doesn't know anything about my past. I just said "Ya, its ok" to get off the subject.
I have wondered if I am being tortured or something or if she has cast some sort of voodoo spell or instead if I am just being tested in a way by God in my best interest. I prefer to think it's God helping me in some way.