Thanks for replying on this Maxen! (I should have labeled it "therapy" or something)
I am with a new one now. I understand that therapists are people, with their own set of talents, strengths, weaknesses and experiences both in life and on the job. I do not expect them to all have the same knowledge and way of doing things. I am starting to feel that I can get what I can get from one, then get what I can get from another, knowing that we all have something different to offer.
So the other day in T, he just told me, "I am not good at trauma." I looked at him confused a bit, explaining how I know he is good with xyz, how could that be. (Not that I sought after him for trauma, but I just can't imagine a therapist NOT knowing trauma... .but I guess that is a bit of me projecting him to be almighty until I balance my view on that as the natural r/s process.)
she would refuse to address my issues and i would get bent out of shape. i didn't come off looking good.
I want to just scream! Ahhh! That is exactly how I felt a lot of the time with MC! I wanted to address it with MC in a way that was direct but would lighten the mood and hopefully clear the air and set expectations of roles where I wanted them.
Lol! So I entered session and said: We need to talk about something first. I'm having an issue of transference where all the things that annoy me about BF I am now mad at you for. I realize this, want to address it, so we can work well together. His eyes light up amazed and says: Well! If only every patient walked in and could say that, things are much easier. Me: good, because I want this to work and here are all the parallels between you and him that I keep seeing that make anything else hard to focus on... .Avoidant, not listening, etc (but I was tactful)
It sucks because it does make us feel like we are the one "not coming off good" right? As though we have put them into this schema role of judging us. That is how I feel too. It is hard to feel trust when things like this are happening.
I have been in T with another gal who explained to me that it was always good when things popped up in our r/s and we should always always discuss it so as never to hinder the process... .and that this WAS the process mostly. So now I feel really awful to sit with a T who only partly "gets it."
Anyway... .
I'm apparently on a ramble... .
The new T is great... .clever and a bit of a genius in many ways... .so it is really challenging to me to pin point and find opportunity some times to bring things up. I sometimes feel a bit hypnotized into his direction of things mesmerized by his wise words and get comfy allowing him to direct. Which is not a dynamic I want to take with me to a future r/s with a partner.
I hope this makes sense.
Thx for listening!