Hey Popcorn-
Why do people always want to talk to me about him? Whether it's good or bad, people have to mention him to me.
Because you and your ex are still connected in their heads.
I hate it when people tell me about him.
Depending on who it is, you could explain where you're coming from and ask them for help with it, if you trust them and if they care about you. For the others, you could make it a game: the more we get exposed to something the more desensitized we become to it, like living in a house next to the train tracks, after a while we don't notice trains, where a visitor would go What the heck? So you could decide to notice how much hearing about him affects you, and stand off to one side of the emotion, don't be it, and then just look at it with curiosity. After a while you'll go pfft, so what, and at the very least it's a good way to check in with how you're doing with your detachment.
They had a conversation about him and the friend said how my ex is doing well.
You and I know if he exhibits significant traits of the disorder he's never doing well, although borderlines are experts at painting pleasant facades; what if this friend saw that fiction but you know the truth? Powerful!
Why do I still feel like this after almost 2 years of being apart and a year of NC?
Because you're not done detaching yet and it takes what it takes. What did you learn new? How can you use it moving forward? What's good about this? Find something... .
