Acting normal on social media, but been told otherwise

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Okay, about 3 months ago I got a drunken phone call from BPDx with some rather sexual connotations, I found it rather uncomfortable and made that known. She then proceeded to ring me later that night crying her eyes out talking about how her fiance was evil to her and had multiple personality disorder and had hit her. Apparently she had a sit down with his parents (she's 18 by the way) and they told her about his MPD and how she had to be careful (as an aside, I remember her telling me that her previous bf also had issues and his dad had had a sit down with her about this too).

Anyway, now he's her everything and she's posting holiday snaps saying "thank you that I can just be me with you"

She's contradicting herself as well, she told me that he only ever thinks about himself, that he's a sociopath but apparently he "always puts me first even though I'm stubborn and always try to put you first"

I mean literally theres an entire paragraph of nothing but drivel. This is someone who apparently carries a knife everywhere with him. Who is apparently a psychopath and yet out of nowhere she's writing this diatribe.

My question to you learned people, Is how can a human being employ such cognitive dissonance? and if it's all lies how can someone be such an inveterate liar?

If he knew the things she said about him, I can't imagine how things would go down. I would never say anything - obviously. But it doesn't half make me angry to read something like this, knowing the evil things she has said.

Every body finds that one special person that stays in their hearts for their whole life. - they've been together for less than a year.

[christoff522]

Okay, about 3 months ago I got a drunken phone call from BPDx with some rather sexual connotations, I found it rather uncomfortable and made that known. She then proceeded to ring me later that night crying her eyes out talking about how her fiance was evil to her and had multiple personality disorder and had hit her. Apparently she had a sit down with his parents (she's 18 by the way) and they told her about his MPD and how she had to be careful (as an aside, I remember her telling me that her previous bf also had issues and his dad had had a sit down with her about this too).

Anyway, now he's her everything and she's posting holiday snaps saying "thank you that I can just be me with you"

She's contradicting herself as well, she told me that he only ever thinks about himself, that he's a sociopath but apparently he "always puts me first even though I'm stubborn and always try to put you first"

I mean literally theres an entire paragraph of nothing but drivel. This is someone who apparently carries a knife everywhere with him. Who is apparently a psychopath and yet out of nowhere she's writing this diatribe.

My question to you learned people, Is how can a human being employ such cognitive dissonance? and if it's all lies how can someone be such an inveterate liar?

If he knew the things she said about him, I can't imagine how things would go down. I would never say anything - obviously. But it doesn't half make me angry to read something like this, knowing the evil things she has said.

Every body finds that one special person that stays in their hearts for their whole life. - they've been together for less than a year.

[enlighten me]

Does he have MPD?

One thing ive seen from my exs is that Is something works they will use it again. Im sure some of the things my exs told me actually happened but not with that ex.

She may have found that her ex was sympathetic when he heard about her exs condition. She may be trying to get that sympathy from you.

Just a thought.

[Sunfl0wer]

My question to you learned people, Is how can a human being employ such cognitive dissonance? and if it's all lies how can someone be such an inveterate liar?

It is very mind baffling isn't it?

The short answer is... .

Yes, there are people that can have such cognitive dissonance.

My partner would change his views and opinions based on who he was presenting them to.  He was what they call a "chameleon" in he wanted to be acceptable in different situations, therefore presented split sides of himself or reflected what the desires were of the pple he was presenting to.

It blows my mind!

It appears you may have been here a bit.  Are you finding reading the lessons helpful?

Reading around at the stories of others, and also reading the lessons and articles has really helped me unwind some of the mess of craziness that I have been around in my r/s and that has messed with my mind.

How are you doing with the b/u otherwise?

[christoff522]

Does he have MPD?

I honestly don't know, I don't speak to her much, considering she called her previous ex abusive and said he was mentally ill - I doubt it.

One thing ive seen from my exs is that Is something works they will use it again. Im sure some of the things my exs told me actually happened but not with that ex.

Yes this is true, I have noticed this myself.

She may have found that her ex was sympathetic when he heard about her exs condition. She may be trying to get that sympathy from you.

Just a thought.

She has always used me for sympathy, I've moved on now, But it still staggers me when I see stuff like this.

[christoff522]

My question to you learned people, Is how can a human being employ such cognitive dissonance? and if it's all lies how can someone be such an inveterate liar?

It is very mind baffling isn't it?

The short answer is... .

Yes, there are people that can have such cognitive dissonance.

My partner would change his views and opinions based on who he was presenting them to.  He was what they call a "chameleon" in he wanted to be acceptable in different situations, therefore presented split sides of himself or reflected what the desires were of the pple he was presenting to.

It blows my mind!

It appears you may have been here a bit.  Are you finding reading the lessons helpful?

Reading around at the stories of others, and also reading the lessons and articles has really helped me unwind some of the mess of craziness that I have been around in my r/s and that has messed with my mind.

How are you doing with the b/u otherwise?

It's actually been quite a while since I was last here, months in fact. A lot of what happened I've moved on from.

We have in fact been getting along, distance wise. She will try to initiate contact in very small ways and I will ignore her, then she will actually text me or whatever and I will talk to her for a while, and then things will go quiet again. This suits me. But she always tries to push it a little bit further, get it more to that intimate level, and then she will push away. Perhaps a year ago this would bother me, but as far as I am concerned today, I'm somewhat indifferent. In fact contact with her bothers me less than it ever has, I don't actually care about talking to her, that need, that obsession has passed. The only reason I've commented me today is based upon that dichotomy of behaviours, of schemas. Where she can in one sense believe him to be a potential murderer, and on the other side of the coin he is literally described as perfect.

Reading everything you can will really help, Whether it be lessons here or through google. I have learned a lot about women, and in some ways it's made me less inclined to pursue - or at least rush into - a relationship and in other ways it lets me see the traits in others and in myself. It is eye-opening, and that knowledge actually seems to be a shield to further pursuance by other BPDs. It's like they know that I know what they're like and it scares them.