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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Do I delete him from Facebook?  (Read 475 times)
repititionqueen

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 49



« on: July 12, 2015, 01:17:45 PM »

Hi Everyone,

I'm leaving today for a very important soul searching trip. My ex w/uBPD has contacted me in a very pathetic text to try to find out when I'm leaving: "so uhhh... .going to *destination* soon" Needless to say I did not reply.

My question to you folks is should I delete him on Facebook before I go so that he can't try to track my trip and see my pictures, or should I merely block him from seeing any new content so that I don't have him messaging and asking why I deleted him? I have taken him off of my chat and "close friends" list, so that he is less visible to me now.

He blocked me from parts of his Facebook already which I found majorly suspicious... .clearly moving onto my replacement.

Any advice would help!

Thanks Smiling (click to insert in post)
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Dutched
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Divorced
Posts: 494


« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2015, 01:36:23 PM »

As you say it is for you an very important trip.Getting out of the FOG with your trip. first.

And guess what?  Indeed it is all about you now as this trip is very important for you!

I can tell you what I did.

I blocked ex to protect myself.

General:

= I blocked my visibility, my postings and visibility of my friends for others

= can’t be found by Google, etc.

= blocked all her family members (which were no FB friends anyway) just as precaution

= blocked several persons in our community and her social circle, of whom I knew they (could) have contact with her (all as precaution)

Specific:

I composed and posted a text on my page in which I made very clear:

= that I needed to protect myself therefore my reactions were limited as from now on.

= that I respected their choice to remain in contact (because of all these years)

= would very appreciate it not to post any pictures as from now on with me on it.

Family/friends phoned me and stated to understand and respect my request.

I wanted to be in control, control for me.

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For years someone I loved once gave me boxes full of darkness.
It made me sad, it made me cry.
It took me long to understand that these were the most wonderful gifts.
It was all she had to give
rotiroti
formerly neveragainthanks
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 758



« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2015, 01:42:58 PM »

Whatever works best for you, I personally deleted and blocked my ex. Nothing against her personally, I was getting triggered at the mere sight of her.

When I'm ready I'll add her again if I feel like it's the right choice in the future
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