My wife has undiagnosed NPD with ASPD ... .I have three beautiful kids, because of them, I really consider myself very very lucky. I had a very unstable childhood... .an immigrant at the age of 12, gone through lots of tough childhood stuff. Wanted my kids to have a perfect family ... so I thought I could. I failed, because my NPDw seems to see me as a "competitor" to our kids' attention. The relentless tactics to devaluing me infront of our kids and among common friends are just endless ... .and apparently she has been building an on going slandering campaign with another NPD who used to be a common friend of ours... .I guess one can call my wife is on full speed of smear campaign and triangulation. Everyday, I try not to turn on to this website because I have posted plenty here ... .and honestly, at some point I started to feel that I am just a running around in circles. I know staying is not the solution and yet, I don't have an exit strategy. I still fantasize that I could work it out ... .everyday, I look at my three beautiful kids and say to myself, I could work it out ... .maybe tomorrow would be different. I can not say I am depressed ... .but I do constantly feel foggy and just tired constantly from of her smear campaigns and now with triangulation bringing in another NPD into the picture. I am not firing at all of my cylinders. I am wondering if anyone has dealt with a NPD with ASPD before and how does court today recognize people like that? As many people now, NPD are notorious for making psychopathic lies ... . they don't function like normal people. They often tell lies with tears in their eyes as if they are the victims when they are actually the bruiser. Very odd... .but all true. I found this blog online and throughout it accurately describes it
https://selfcarehaven.wordpress.com/2014/07/21/five-powerful-ways-abusive-narcissists-get-inside-your-head/ I put it here so I can get some input as well about its characterization of NPD. I read in the book Splitting that it is best to emphasize the pattern of misbehavior. My problem is that in court like this, it is often he says versus she says. As a result, I am confident that my NPDw will have no problem making mountain of things up about me and then I would have to debunk them, while bringing out the truth... .all I can see and hear is $$$ register ringing up at the attorney's office. I have three kids, if we go bankrupt ... that fear is more real to me that my kids may suffer. As of today, I suffer the most ... .and if I just take all the crap ... .and if I am strong enough ... at least my kids will have a chance to grow stronger each year as I am able to shoulder the burden. I don't doubt my relationship will come to an eventual end ... .I just don't see a way that a NPD could change. The character flaw is really deep ... .there is just no concern for telling lies from her. Gas lighting is one of her strength and she really knows how to use it to devalue and triangulate. You thoughts on anything mentioned above is greatly appreciated.
