Have any of you confronted your undiagnosed ex's about BPD?

[still_in_shock]

Yes. He enraged and dumped me. Was my husband

[Meadowslark]

This wasn't the case with my diagnosed BPD sister. She has never had a romantic relationship that I'm aware of. She's 25. She couldn't even keep passing friendships for more than 3 months without exploding on them. She's not sexual in the slightest and actually assaulted me when I asked if she was interested in men, women or both (purely out of curiosity).

The disorder definitely does seem to stem from deep childhood trauma. I know my sister was assaulted by our father and nearly smothered to death when she was 2 or 3. Dad confessed this to Mom later on in life. Dad has assaulted my sister many times throughout her life. His excuse? "She was harder to control than you." I believe this is where BPD began for her and our constantly moving around states/the country due to Dad's tantrums just exacerbated BPDsis' problems. Dad is NPD.

It's truly a tragic set of problems. My sister was diagnosed in the hospital during her 4th suicide attempt in the span of 6 months (that I knew of). I went NC with her before this attempt. She fits all 9 diagnostic criteria. I knew confronting her would be pointless - she's not able to see anything about herself clearly, she refuses to take responsibility for anything... .They truly are but infants in adult bodies. They have no concept of self.

My sister wrote me an apology letter that sounded like it was written by a small child. It was horrendously offensive, but proves the point that these people haven't developed a self of self and are just small children.

[eves]

I knew something was amiss, my ex BPD bf's family are mostly all doctors and it is BS none of them knew there was anything wrong. I thought he was a misogynist at first then later realised he had BPD. Told his parents and she secretly told him she was pissed as there was nothing wrong with him and that I was nuts and refused to pay for treatment until I had to fly my T down halfway across the world. and then pay for his flight up again.

Anyway my advice, dont tell a BPD they have it. I believe most will go ballistic and blame you forever. he flew into amazing rages every month saying Im a B that calls him mad and he's not etc etc, unless they want treatment, then they can be healed. Its like a gamble, it either goes right (I've read books and they explain be loving and tolerant, their cutting words dont mean anything etc etc) I did try that and it worked. but again out of the blue I get blamed for everything.

[eves]

I knew something was amiss, my ex BPD bf's family are mostly all doctors and it is BS none of them knew there was anything wrong. I thought he was a misogynist at first then later realised he had BPD. Told his parents and she secretly told him she was pissed as there was nothing wrong with him and that I was nuts and refused to pay for treatment until I had to fly my T down halfway across the world. and then pay for his flight up again.

Anyway my advice, dont tell a BPD they have it. I believe most will go ballistic and blame you forever. he flew into amazing rages every month saying Im a B that calls him mad and he's not etc etc, unless they want treatment, then they can be healed. Its like a gamble, it either goes right (I've read books and they explain be loving and tolerant, their cutting words dont mean anything etc etc) I did try that and it worked. but again out of the blue I get blamed for everything.