Hello everyone,
I was referred to this site by my psychologist, and I have found it very enlightening thus far. When I was 11 years old I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle. My mother was going through a very difficult time and she believed I would be better off. In some ways I was, I had shelter, food, clothing, and I was going to school. My aunt turned out to be more volatile than I had remembered. Sometimes she was caring and nurturing and I felt as though she had true compassion for me, other times it felt like she saw my pain as being in competition with her pain and that she was worse off. I never knew where I stood with her, and I never knew what I was allowed to do and what I was not allowed to do because sometimes something was ok and another time it wasn't. The time I spent in this environment has affected me far more than any other abuse I went through as a child and reading the resources here have shown me just how a great an impact it was. I was constantly bombarded with negativity in a time when I was developing my own identity. That negativity has been with me ever since and it was taken control of my esteem and self worth. I am hoping that by reaching out and taking the initiative to learn more about this that I can learn to be kinder to myself and learn that I am not who my aunt told me I was. Thank you for taking time to read this.
