Hi,
My gf is currently in a grey area. She says her head says she must leave but her heart says to stay. About two weeks ago she was triggered by an event that happened between her dad and her on holiday (I suspect). After that I have been the dumping ground. She has no real reason for leaving except that she feels empty and that I am the reason for it. Blaming me.
She wants to move out but isn’t actively looking and still she does couple things. So her actions and words do not match. I am annoyed that we are living as a couple but we are not officially a couple and we are just in limbo.
My T told me yesterday to call her bluff. To tell her either we are working together towards a relationship or I will move out. I was hesitant to say that after appointment and wanted to only address that today. However last night she brought something up regarding an event we both were invited to. The opportunity presented itself and I told her that. I said:
If we are not working towards a relationship I feel I need to move out as its too painful to live in same house never mind sleep in the same bed. It was a civil conversation where she stated she loves me but her head says we can’t work. Last night she said I must not move out before weekend. After much discussion she still didn’t give me an YES/NO answer so we went to bed.
This AM she let me know she made an T appointment for herself. That rarely happens so good sign.
Now I am torn between following through with my boundary or sticking it out and see what happens while I live at home. What to do?
I had the "we're in an unhealthy gray area" conversation with my gf several months before we broke up. I had been unhappy in our r/s for a long time. When I look back on it, the strangest part was that I was waiting for HER to make a decision about our r/s. I am normally pretty decisive but I couldn't seem to decide to leave.
I think this is because I spent so much time attending to her needs that I stopped paying attention to my own.