A personal inventory...

[Eye438]

I guess the time has come to start facing codependency oh how I hate that word and do I really want do dig into the very heart and soul of myself, something I have put off all of my life, ugh. I could be grateful to my ex BPD partner for making me face myself.  After all I contributed greatly to the demise of a truly toxic relationship, come to think of it, not a relationship at all, i was caregiving and playing psychologist to a mentally ill woman who was not capable of having any kind of relationship. I bled myself out. Now I feel nothing. I know in my heart I will be fine it's just more work to rebuild myself from top to bottom. I loved and did not receive love in return as I see it now.

Thank you borderline for forcing me to see all the weakness and helping me realize my own private Idaho which I could have never done on my own. I am saying goodbye to rebounding and a life without boundaries. My line of thinking after the break was to meet someone so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain, I refuse to continue old patterns, they are knee jerk reactions and old coping skills.

Thank god for my sister with whom I have never had a real relationship with due to a BPD mother. She has been a tremendous help in making me realize myself. Another thank you to my ex BPD partner for the pain and suffering I endured and for the first time actually developing a meaningful relationship with my only sibling.

Thank you for this great support group that I happen to stumble on in the search for answers.  

[Darsha500]

GET IT GURL!

We believe in you! We believe in your capacity to do the work to find yourself and bring her out of hiding. I commend you so much! You inspire me! I'm right there with you, as I believe we all are.

I love this quote from David Richo:

"When we fear abandonment by the other, we might compromise our boundaries so that we lose our self-respect.  When we fear engulfment by the other, we might tighten our boundaries so much that love cannot easily flourish. An infant crawling, falling, bumping into objects is gaining a sense of boundaries. Can we see failures and hard knocks as helping us now in that same way?"

You, Eye438, are indestructible. Just as I am indestructible. I am so grateful for this ability, this insight, into myself. Some of us are not so fortunate, ahem, BPD partners, cough cough. excuse me. 

We get to look at ourselves and change. Not everyone has the luxury.

[Eye438]

GET IT GURL!

We believe in you! We believe in your capacity to do the work to find yourself and bring her out of hiding. I commend you so much! You inspire me! I'm right there with you, as I believe we all are.

I love this quote from David Richo:

"When we fear abandonment by the other, we might compromise our boundaries so that we lose our self-respect.  When we fear engulfment by the other, we might tighten our boundaries so much that love cannot easily flourish. An infant crawling, falling, bumping into objects is gaining a sense of boundaries. Can we see failures and hard knocks as helping us now in that same way?"

You, Eye438, are indestructible. Just as I am indestructible. I am so grateful for this ability, this insight, into myself. Some of us are not so fortunate, ahem, BPD partners, cough cough. excuse me. 

We get to look at ourselves and change. Not everyone has the luxury.

Well Darsha we are born into suffering and I accept that in life and you are absolutely spot on in your last statement and the quote comes from a brilliant mind!