Need Help I want to stay the course

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello all,

I need help tonight. My exBPDgf and I have been trying to work things out the past two months but she is still hanging on to the exbf. We broke up 9 months ago and would have worked things out sooner except she found somebody else. For 6 months it seems that she has been torn between the two of us. I worked on myself and felt strong enough to enter back into this relationship after she said she chose me. I think it is getting to me now because I keep hearing from her that she tells the guy to not contact her anymoe but I know she innitiates conatct again. I know she is keeping him as a backup and it is starting to wear me down. She told me that she is not committed to me yet but she is working on it. I dont know what to do. I know that committment fears her and the fact that I am the one that left after a blow out, has mde things worse. I dot know what to do. I dont want my insecurities to get the best of me again. Trying to be patient.

[downnout98]

Hello all,

I need help tonight. My exBPDgf and I have been trying to work things out the past two months but she is still hanging on to the exbf. We broke up 9 months ago and would have worked things out sooner except she found somebody else. For 6 months it seems that she has been torn between the two of us. I worked on myself and felt strong enough to enter back into this relationship after she said she chose me. I think it is getting to me now because I keep hearing from her that she tells the guy to not contact her anymoe but I know she innitiates conatct again. I know she is keeping him as a backup and it is starting to wear me down. She told me that she is not committed to me yet but she is working on it. I dont know what to do. I know that committment fears her and the fact that I am the one that left after a blow out, has mde things worse. I dot know what to do. I dont want my insecurities to get the best of me again. Trying to be patient.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[downnout98]

I know that this may sound strange, but we have been really great together for the past month. The guy she was dating will not go away. It was like that throughout their 6 months of dating. I think he is worse than I was as far as being codependent. She got him hooked and he will not go away. I kept hearing from her how he shows up drunk at night, ringing the doorbell. Hell I have eben net him since he came over one time whuile I was at the house recently. Dont know what to do.