Intro

[GMama]

My 16 YO daughter has been dx with "provisional" BPD. The psychiatrist said she would not hesitate to drop "provisional" if she was 18. She has other dx as well: mood disorder, ADHD, ODD, obsessive thinking and more. She is the middle of five children. Her two older siblings are out of the house. Her younger siblings are 14 (sister) and 12 (brother) I had been told she should probably go into residential treatment and I am so ready for that. I feel like I have nothing left to deal with her any more. I want my two younger kids to not be afraid of her so often. My 14 year old just got back from a trip to visit the other older sister, and she is already in tears wanting to go back and not be around Her BPD sister - and I don't blame her. I often want to run away.

As you can guess it puts a lot of strain on our family and my marriage. My husband is not as quick to send her somewhere.

I struggle with guilt from the feeling of wanting her to go away. I love her, but she's very difficult, she wears me down and I don't like being around her. How awful to say that about your own child / ?

I'm looking forward to support here... .From folks who've "been there" or are going through this.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[tristesse]

Hi GMama, welcome to bpdfamily, and let me start off by telling you how sorry I am that you are dealing with this type of heartache.

I want to assure you that everybody on this board has either gone through or is going through something very similar . We will give you as much advice and guidance as we can, and will share our stories with you.

What you are experiencing with your daughter is not abnormal BPD behavior, it is in fact quite typical. There are ways to help your daughter overcome this illness and get better, and ways to help you and your family learn to communicate better with her, in ways that make a difference. There are lessons and tools on the right side of this board that will guide you along the way, so do take some time to open them up. Take the time to really learn about BPD, and the black and white thinking that accompanies it. The self esteem and self image of your daughter are going to play a part in her recovering as well.

I have a 31 year old daughter with BPD, she is low functioning and lives with me because her BPD is only 1 of many issues she has both physically and mentally. For years my family struggled with her behaviors and rages, she was out of control and nobody wanted to be around her, let alone live with her. A  little more than  a year ago I found this site and  for the first several months it was a place for me to vent, I read the lessons etc, but I didn't work on it. When I finally decided I had to make some changes in the way I communicate with her and respond to her progress was made. She has made great leaps of improvement over the past few months, and we have far more peace in our home than we have ever had. So don't give up.

Remember that self care is as important as caring for everybody else, so take some time to do something for you. Big hug to you, hang n there.

[GMama]

I think the hardest thing for me to deal with is when she's mean, rude, inconsiderate, says in appropriate things, because it is clear she doesn't see what she does as wrong. It's as if she is delusional about herself. She got a job as a busser in s restaurant. The let her go after 2 dais because she didn't work fast enough. She asked for another chance and they still let her go. She thinks it's THEM not her that has a problem. I checked with a friend there and she indeed was slow. so I find it hard to critique her it give her input when she clearly does not see what she is doing wrong. How do you teach someone who seems to have an alternate reality?