My ex keeps doing these things.. now it just gets weird

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Hi everyone,

My BPD ex won't leave me alone...

It has been over between us for more than 2 years now.

We are both in a new relationship. I have been doing NC for almost 2 years, and that works great for me.

However, my ex won't stop... I try to see him as little as possible, but when I do run into him ... he keeps flirting with me, tries to kiss me etc. I keep telling him he shouldn't do this, which he doesn't listen to. It doesn't matter if his gf is there or not, his behaviour is exactly the same... This has been going on for 2 years now.

At first, this was very upsetting - was I giving him the idea that he could do such things? Now I know I wasn't.

The less he sees me, the worser it gets, so it seems. It's just so confusing and exhausting sometimes.

The latest story is that his gf seems really interested in me (I barely know her). She wants to be friends with me on all social media (there's a reason I don't have my x on social media!). The also has invited me to hang out with my x and her... this is weird right?

Is this some kind of weird triangulation thing? Did my ex tell her something that I want him back in my life or anything? It just keeps on getting weirder.  I don't want anything to do with this.

I keep continuing NC and hoping it will ever stop. For now, it feels good to share it...

Anyone who has experienced similar stuff?

[Kristina123]

Hi everyone,

My BPD ex won't leave me alone...

It has been over between us for more than 2 years now.

We are both in a new relationship. I have been doing NC for almost 2 years, and that works great for me.

However, my ex won't stop... I try to see him as little as possible, but when I do run into him ... he keeps flirting with me, tries to kiss me etc. I keep telling him he shouldn't do this, which he doesn't listen to. It doesn't matter if his gf is there or not, his behaviour is exactly the same... This has been going on for 2 years now.

At first, this was very upsetting - was I giving him the idea that he could do such things? Now I know I wasn't.

The less he sees me, the worser it gets, so it seems. It's just so confusing and exhausting sometimes.

The latest story is that his gf seems really interested in me (I barely know her). She wants to be friends with me on all social media (there's a reason I don't have my x on social media!). The also has invited me to hang out with my x and her... this is weird right?

Is this some kind of weird triangulation thing? Did my ex tell her something that I want him back in my life or anything? It just keeps on getting weirder.  I don't want anything to do with this.

I keep continuing NC and hoping it will ever stop. For now, it feels good to share it...

Anyone who has experienced similar stuff?

[valet]

Hey Kristina, it's good to hear that you're doing well.  

I can understand how annoying this is for you. You sound like you just want to live your life, so what gives?

Your ex probably feels that his attachment to you is fading. These are his efforts to restore it. Have you considered not reacting when you see him, or perhaps filing a restraining order?

His current girlfriend probably wants to meet you because she feels threatened by your presence. I'd consider her reaction pretty normal. He's acting quite oddly around you and maybe she thinks something's up. She probably wants to get a better grasp on who you are as a person to determine how she actually feels about his actions. You are not responsible for soothing her insecurities, though. He is likely attempting to triangulate you with her and himself because he has begun to devalue her. Things must not be going so well for them.

Either way, what you're doing appears to be working for you. Keep at it and do whatever you feel is necessary to protect yourself.

[cloudten]

Just a thought- maybe she wants to talk to you. Maybe she needs reassurance that she isn't the crazy one.

I still think you should maintain NC... .and I would probably do everything possible to avoid seeing him out. If she reaches out again, you might consider saying something to the effect of "I am not interested in being friends with you or *crazy man*, please stop contacting me."

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Kristina123, I echo those above.  Keep firm boundaries and go on with your life.  Feel free to state those boundaries to your Ex and/or his GF as needed. If need be, attach a consequence.  LJ

[zundertowz]

I disagree about the GF of your exes reaction being normal... .I find it bizarre and she obviously has issues also... .I would go full NC this situation is very toxic.