gone back doubt... help me

[euhm]

Hi my bf had met a woman ( not the first time). We had a fight ( when i didnt know for sure he had her in his life) and eventually he left me and my daughter ( raised her with me) lot of crying but i never contacted him myself while he was away. He sended me messages or called me everyday and still acted jalous.

last week we were chatting and one thing let to ... .

He came over and we had fun. He left saying he never stopped thinking about us. I said we would see how it goes ( he had that woman). Next day în the evening he sended me he felt terrible and wanted to be with us. I avain said we will see. Next morning he stands next ro my bed. Asking to come back. I took him in. He said to the dauvhter he would nevet leave again. We went out and had a great time

He told me if he would stay with her it would go wrong cz they used a lot of drugs and alcohol

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[ptilda]

I'm sorry for the pain. You need to protect you and your daughter from being his rebound plan. It's really important to put some boundaries in place for your sakes. Sometimes BPDs look at children as a motivation to stay. This could be positive or negative. But keep in mind that if you stay with him, you're making the choice of giving your daughter a parent with BPD (I gather he's not the biological father).

If my husband came back tomorrow, I'd have doubts too, and as far as I know there was never another woman. But there is always the uncertainty. You have to be okay with you. Then find the boundaries you need for YOU and your child and be firm on those. If you can't be firm, don't put them in place because that's worse than no boundary at all.

No one knows. Even people without BPDsos don't know. Just be true to you.

[euhm]

Half of my m first message is gone hmm.

He left again to her. its so strange

She did a suicide attempt for someone she know not two months and she has two children. Cz he left her. He found her, took rest of his stuff and drove back home, leaving her alone. Doesnt sound like love to me...

This situation is the first time so till now he was a good father to her...

[euhm]

So hz goes back to someone he knows is unstable and so on... he said she isnt that smart either...

[euhm]

 :'(