ex's kid contacted me asking for help with schooling

[English Sid]

I have been strictly NC with my estranged UBPD wife for nearly 2 months now. I recently had an email from her daughter asking me for financial help with the last year of her studies. She is a good and clever kid and I would like to see her graduate. The family are from a poor Asian country and I would like to give her the opportunity to better herself and graduate. I believe that if I asked her not to tell her mother that I was helping her, she would not say anything to her.

Thoughts welcome please.

[kells76]

Hi English Sid;

Just a few questions to help me understand your situation more 

How old is your ex's daughter? Is she a legal adult?

What's her relationship like with your ex? Close? Estranged?

And how's your ex's financial situation? Stable or shaky?

[js friend]

Hi English Sid,

My first thought when reading your post is... .Are you absolutley sure that this is an email from your exes daughter and not her mother?

I would be careful that this isnt attempt to drain you of your money.

Are you able to speak to the d rather than email. I would say that  If you can be 100% that this from the daughter and the money will be used for her education plus you can afford it and are happy to help, then I would pay the fees directly to her place of study rather than send the money to her that way you can be relatively sure that it will be used for the purpose you intended.

I also went back and read your story Sid. Is your exs d back home in her mothers country or in your country?  Thought I had was... .could this be a ruse your  ex is using in desperation to buy a plane ticket back.? 

Idk just my thoughts.

Also If this is genuine I wouldnt ask her to keep secrets from her mother. Secrets only have a habit of causing more harm in the longrun.

[English Sid]

Hi JS

I have managed to speak with the daughter to clarify she did send the email to me requesting help with her studies, which she confirmed this.

The daughter is back in her mother's country.

I do intend to help her with her studies after speaking with her.

[momtara]

sounds worthwhile. you're a good person. it's good the other commenters were looking out for you, too.

[ReclaimingMyLife]

English Sid,  my hat is off to you for your willingness to support your ex's daughter. What a kind and generous thing to do.

I had been thinking the same thing as jsfriend  about paying the fees directly to the school.   Originally, I thought this smart for YOUR protection.   But now I think so for the DAUGHTER'S protection.   In case your ex tries to commandeer the money.   Paying the school directly eliminates the possibility of your ex doing anything underhanded.

I had a client who inherited money at the time of her father's death to pay her (client's) college.   Her mentally ill mother FOG'd her into handing over the money.   My client ended up with none of it and had to pay for school herself.   No telling what her mom did with that money.     

Just food for thought!