Main battle victory - now i have to win the peace - single dad

[Stylianos]

I am very fortunate to have a stbx BPD spouse who was so far gone the court (expert evals etc) has saw fit to grant my request for sole custody. i have a D7 and S5.  Although i have been the primary care giver for kids (and stbx spouse) for around 4-5 it feels way different when its legal and there is no one else responsible for their well being and capacity to thrive than you.  This is what i fought for and had to win and was successful- but now that its happened its almost as if the burden of the fight has lifted but the reality of the new normal is scary.  Trust me - there is no going back and i am going to dive into this and be as successful as possible to make it happen - but things are different when you are on your own for good.  I will continue to use and build a better support network to help along the way and am absolutely committed.  I am asking for help - resources, advice, rules of thumb, anything to be the best mom/dad i can be.  I applaud all who are doing it and hope to be as good.

regards,

S

[lbjnltx]

Hi Stylianos,

I'm sorry that your family needed to split up and I'm glad to know you are so committed to the care and upbringing of your children.  Being a parent is the hardest and most important job to have so being a little unsure or even overwhelmed is natural.  Which aspects of being the sole parent seems most daunting to you?  How are your kids coping with the split and you being their caregiver now?  It must be so hard for these little ones to grasp that not having mom be their caretaker is for the best. :'(

I hope that you will gain more confidence in your abilities by reading these articles, it's hard for any of us to know how to respond to tough questions and pain filled statements from our kids.

Validation and Young Children

Validation in Divorced and Blended Families

lbjnltx