How to get through getting replaced so soon?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

So my exBPD split from me two months ago and while I've yet to be replaced, I get the impression that's due to circumstance more than anything else (she's at home and doesn't go out much). However I know she goes back to university next month and I will likely be replaced not long after that. We were both each other's first serious relationship but she has always been more popular, both in general and attracting people (several people confessed feelings while we were dating) so I feel I'm just preparing for the inevitable especially as I'm not ready to date again yet.

Even though I expect it won't last know that's going to be the next (and hopefully last) hurdle for my emotions in this break up knowing she will be with someone else physically and emotionally. How did other's get through it and how bad was it?

[Corgicuddler95]

So my exBPD split from me two months ago and while I've yet to be replaced, I get the impression that's due to circumstance more than anything else (she's at home and doesn't go out much). However I know she goes back to university next month and I will likely be replaced not long after that. We were both each other's first serious relationship but she has always been more popular, both in general and attracting people (several people confessed feelings while we were dating) so I feel I'm just preparing for the inevitable especially as I'm not ready to date again yet.

Even though I expect it won't last know that's going to be the next (and hopefully last) hurdle for my emotions in this break up knowing she will be with someone else physically and emotionally. How did other's get through it and how bad was it?

[saintgrey]

What have been working for me its time and learning about how pwBPD go through life, how relationships evolve.

Accept the fact that you can't help them unless they take the first step and realize they indeed have a problem; i spoke with a BPD person in recovery and she told me that the worst part is accepting all the damage she had done and stop blaming everyone for it, they need to accept that and it seems they know deep down but the disorder won't let them take responsibility so thats why its so hard.

My advise stick to NC unless you are forced to speak with her, don't attempt to start a friendship right now if you still have feelings for her and accept the fact that 2 weeks without you its like 6 months without her for you, so trust me they will move on as soon as they find someone.

Its ok to feel hurt, i was devastated the day i found out she was with another guy and also about the things i found out but this forum and the experiences you can read will help you a lot to overcome the feelings.

Another thing, don't expect you are the exception to the rule, mine made that very clear.

[LostGhost]

The only thing that helped me is to depersonalize from it. To see myself and all potential replacements as essentially the same thing in her mind and from her point of view. That's a painful revelation on its own but less painful to me than knowing I am a wonderful, unique man with many great attributes and qualities, I brought so much to the relationship so why was I replaced by this guy who is seemingly half of what I am? What does he have that I don't?

The answer is nothing. When you depersonalize and see it from her disorder's point of view,  you are a supply. All others are a supply. You look different, sound different, feel different, act different. But to her it's like going to the grocery store and deciding which brand of bottled water she wants to quench her thirst with.

[Corgicuddler95]

What have been working for me its time and learning about how pwBPD go through life, how relationships evolve.

Accept the fact that you can't help them unless they take the first step and realize they indeed have a problem; i spoke with a BPD person in recovery and she told me that the worst part is accepting all the damage she had done and stop blaming everyone for it, they need to accept that and it seems they know deep down but the disorder won't let them take responsibility so thats why its so hard.

My advise stick to NC unless you are forced to speak with her, don't attempt to start a friendship right now if you still have feelings for her and accept the fact that 2 weeks without you its like 6 months without her for you, so trust me they will move on as soon as they find someone.

Its ok to feel hurt, i was devastated the day i found out she was with another guy and also about the things i found out but this forum and the experiences you can read will help you a lot to overcome the feelings.

Another thing, don't expect you are the exception to the rule, mine made that very clear.

I know I will see her at some point next month sadly, I'd feel it was much easier if I could just cut her out of my life completely but she is going to start living with mutual friends.