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Author Topic: where does my happiness come from?  (Read 483 times)
fiveplus

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 9


« on: September 01, 2015, 03:09:10 PM »

   Someone here posted this comment in their remarks and it just spoke to me... .

   Where DOES my happiness come from?  I had always thought it was from my family and my relationship (my husband), but I realized awhile back that this was pretty much building my house on a fault line.

    My relationship could come unglued at any time... .and (God forbid) something could happen to my friends or family... .so then what would I do? Could I be happy without these things?

    When things so south all around me, what do I hold on to?

    So I realize that I really needed to be happy with ME. I have to know who I am... no MATTER what anyone else says.

    When I get to the point that... .my husband , or whoever, can SAY what they want, be as angry as they are, rant and rave over whatever and  KNOW that this DOES NOT change who I am at all, I can look at what they do or say and know there may BE snippets of truth in their words (and own those realizations to work on myself, IF I choose), but NOT take ownership of THEIR actions, when my circumstances don't decide my thoughts and actions... .then I will be able to be happy with ME, no matter where I am or who is with me.

    Anyway... .just my thoughts today, still a work in progress. Thought
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Inquisitive1
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Gender: Male
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic Partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 230



« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2015, 03:24:46 PM »

I like it. The only way to maximize happiness is to base it upon things under your control and not upon the capricious nature of others.
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waverider
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married 8 yrs, together 16yrs
Posts: 7407


If YOU don't change, things will stay the same


« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2015, 06:45:27 PM »

If we create our own framework for our lives, and everything, and everyone else, is just added value, it prevents total collapse when something fails in the things, and people around us.

Closely tied to codependency issues. Is our happiness fed by others or dependent on them?

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