10 days NC

[Infern0]

So far.

Hadn't heard a peep from her and was actually concerned for her and hoped she was doing OK.  Then I hear she was out at the clubs last night chatting up a bunch of guys.

Kind of makes me wonder when I'll learn.  I'm the only one we feels anything about all of this,  she just flicks the switch and goes looking for any stranger who'll take her home for the night.

[AsGoodAsItGets]

I have been their buddy.   Waited through seven guys to finally win the women of my dreams,  so I thought.  She actually was just keeping me around as a toy, for when the other new relationships broke apart like they always do.  Eventually she moved in with me.  Boy was I a loving caring dummy.  Thought we would finally clear the air increase are love bond and live happily ever after.  Just one problem, BPD have a really hard time with guilt,  like children sleeping in the dark with out their night light.  They just would rather lie, deny or just honestly become delusional.  Its to much work for them to think about our feelings.  My ex, when she really had a moment of remorse, it lasted 10 minutes, next thing you know, she was cutting herself and banged her head so hard she passed out.  it was the easiest way for her to distracted herself from the guilt.  When when didn't live together, she would just go out and have fun with out me and just find some random guy to distract her so she wouldnt have to feel any of those unpleasent feelings.  Please dont take it personally.

[LostGhost]

So far.

Hadn't heard a peep from her and was actually concerned for her and hoped she was doing OK.  Then I hear she was out at the clubs last night chatting up a bunch of guys.

Kind of makes me wonder when I'll learn.  I'm the only one we feels anything about all of this,  she just flicks the switch and goes looking for any stranger who'll take her home for the night.

just hit 10 days of no contact myself so also wondering what my ex is up to. Likely in the company of someone else too and not giving a thought to what was left behind. I try not to think about that. I can only imagine how you're feeling. I understand your frustration of still caring for her when she gives all appearances of not reciprocating. Even though she appears happy, she's likely doing all that to numb whatever she's feeling.

[lovenature]

  I'm the only one we feels anything about all of this,  she just flicks the switch and goes looking for any stranger who'll take her home for the night.

Remember this when you want to break NC.

Once I learned about BPD, I came to the painful realization that the guy my uexBPDgf lied about being friends with was not only an intimate relation when we met, but likely throughout our relationship  . She probably has had others too while we were together, the truth really hurts, and how can there be any kind of healthy relationship if you don't feel you can trust your partner?