falling from grace again

[specialized]

Last nite I lost it again. I just couldn'tkeep it together. I kept trying to remain calm but she knows exactly how to twist me until I pop and i totallytook the bait.

I don't know if I can learn how to communicate amicably with my BPDw.

she asked me to explain why I would so what I did -defendedd a boundary -in front of my mother in law and my 13 year old daughter  I told her I didn'twant to talk about Iit but she prodded me until broke down and explained that the action i felt was necessary for me to take was because of how she chooses to communicate her feelings to me... ."I relocated the financial statment that are in my name to my dads address because you keep telling me you have copies of documents and have spoken to a divorce lawyer  and there are better men than me  so if we are not going to act like a couple I am going to take steps I need to protect myself and my family... ."

That was the last calm thing I said . I went right into defense mode and the argument begins  nonsensical hurtful ridiculousness right in front of my daughter. 

I'm disappointed in myself and mad at my wife and ashamed that I could be as selfish as her to do this in front of my daughter and mother in law ... .when I know better...

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