Some days are so hard

[LilMe]

I've been doing well for the last few months, but not today. They can be so cruel. I hurt for all of us.

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[Ceruleanblue]

Today was a hard day for me too. Very. Sometimes it feels like even if we try to use all the tools, and technically do what we think are the right things, we still walk away wounded, or at the least annoyed or indignant at how we get treated. Walking away as soon as it starts helps, but my BPDh still usually manages to get in what our MC calls "zingers" as I'm walking away, or if horror of horrors, I try to talk to him(you know, when I mistakenly think he's calm enough for that, but he instantly triggers).

It's so funny that those of us with such empathy and compassion seem to somehow draw those that totally lack those abilities. It's almost like they target us. I had no warning sings really, and I felt I knew what signs of abuse to look for, but I still ended up with someone like this.

I'm sorry that you too had a bad day. I'm hoping tomorrow goes better for both of us.  

[BTA145]

I hope today was better for both of you. 

[lovers knot]

Ah, the roller-coaster, the ups and downs--it's definitely a "battle" some days! On the one hand, there are times when we're "doing our thing," "working on ourselves," working, enjoy life and our precious moments on this beautiful earth, our hobbies, focusing in on what we enjoy, maybe hanging with friends, making new friends, doing whatever--and then BOOM! Some days the bomb drops and you're just left with a feeling of UGH. The pain is so real, and it can be very, very troubling to deal with, and one of my problems is personalizing certain things, which I initially catch myself doing, because I have to realize that no matter what we do, we cannot control what THEY do. As for myself, I speak from the sense of given the ST/being ignored area, which as most know, is quite difficult at times. One minute you're like a star in their sky, and the next minute it's as if you're total nothingness.

Anyway, thank God for this message board! Right? Being able to discuss with people that 'get it', understand, have walked in your shoes, can talk out matters with 'expert advice' is really like a bright light in the darkest of times.

Shine on, friends!

[LilMe]

Thanks everyone! I feel like a yo-yo most of the time - he throws me out then pulls me back in. Life is definitely much better since I found these boards and the resources here, but as you know, it is still extremely difficult. And it hurts to know so many others (BPD and nons) are suffering too. Big hug to us all!