I feel like our relationship is dying and there's nothing I can do

[Stoffel]

I'm having a hard time coping with my feelings.  I'm all alone and my bf is asleep in the other room and I keep wanting to wake him up because I can't stand the pain, but then I think it's not going help anyway.  It's not going to fix anything.  I'm in so much pain, I don't know what to do. I don't want to wake him up and fight... .I am glad that I didn't 'lose it' tonight though, because lately I've been losing it a lot due to feeling in so much pain and feeling pushed to the limit of what I can cope with, which I accomplished through prayer.  I feel empty now, though and alone.  I don't know what to do to cope with it so I don't end up making things worse.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[MaroonLiquid]

I'm having a hard time coping with my feelings.  I'm all alone and my bf is asleep in the other room and I keep wanting to wake him up because I can't stand the pain, but then I think it's not going help anyway.  It's not going to fix anything.  I'm in so much pain, I don't know what to do. I don't want to wake him up and fight... .I am glad that I didn't 'lose it' tonight though, because lately I've been losing it a lot due to feeling in so much pain and feeling pushed to the limit of what I can cope with, which I accomplished through prayer.  I feel empty now, though and alone.  I don't know what to do to cope with it so I don't end up making things worse.

It sounds like you are having a difficult night.  I'm so sorry.  I hope things get better for you.  Can you share what's been going on?  It will help us give you better advice!

[123Phoebe]

Hi Stoffel, I want to join MaroonLiquid in welcoming you to bpdfamily

I don't know what to do to cope with it so I don't end up making things worse.

It sounds like you're on the right track already  Reaching out here for support instead of waking up your boyfriend was a really positive approach to your own self care.  Little things mean a lot.

Did something happen last night?  When you're ready to share more, we're here  

[Stoffel]

Thank you MaroonLiquid and 123Phoebe.  I'm sorry, I think I made a mistake.  I was up in the middle of the night and in a lot of pain and desperate and the invitation to reach out to the group was so comforting that I just signed up without reading all the rules. 

I have been diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder with borderline features and my boyfriend I believe has both BPD and NPD traits and we are trying to have a relationship.  So it looks like people with PD's aren't supposed to be on this board. 

I identified because I believe my partner also has a personality disorder and I'm trying to help him, despite the fact that I have this 'disability' myself so you can imagine how crazy things get sometimes.

So maybe I need to be on a BPD forum for support rather than here although I am trying to support someone with BPD traits.  Sorry for violating your code.  I was so desperate last night and in more pain than I could cope with by myself and I didn't have anyone I could call at that hour.  Do you guys have a section for people who are trying to recover from BPD?

Thanks for reaching out to me and I also want to say how great I think it is to see people who are willing to learn how to help their BPD loved ones.  My family won't help and just makes things worse so I just think the people who have people in their lives like you who are willing to go that extra mile to help are very lucky.