Feeling a bit down / angry

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I've been out of a 3-year relationship with a diagnosed BPD woman for 8 months.

She and the "replacement" were complicit in getting together right after I told her we were through and its been bugging me since.

I haven't gotten very motivated to meet new women even just to sleep with someone to gratify my ego. I feel guilty still about talking to women, leftovers from my r/s and generally just being a wuss.

I've had a few check me out and have gotten to the point where I'll exchange casual convo with ones I don't know, which is progress I suppose. Not to mention my hyper-vigilant red flag spotter, which puts a buffer between my emotions and what I know is logical.

But I still feel very angry about the guy, he really broke rules when he did what he did, lying to my face about it until the end.

I've contemplated finding him at a place he frequents and beating his ass.

I've also considered if he's as slimy as I think he would just get me in trouble.

I know this all sounds pretty childish but on the other hand they're valid feelings in my book.

What would you do?

[disorderedsociety]

I've been out of a 3-year relationship with a diagnosed BPD woman for 8 months.

She and the "replacement" were complicit in getting together right after I told her we were through and its been bugging me since.

I haven't gotten very motivated to meet new women even just to sleep with someone to gratify my ego. I feel guilty still about talking to women, leftovers from my r/s and generally just being a wuss.

I've had a few check me out and have gotten to the point where I'll exchange casual convo with ones I don't know, which is progress I suppose. Not to mention my hyper-vigilant red flag spotter, which puts a buffer between my emotions and what I know is logical.

But I still feel very angry about the guy, he really broke rules when he did what he did, lying to my face about it until the end.

I've contemplated finding him at a place he frequents and beating his ass.

I've also considered if he's as slimy as I think he would just get me in trouble.

I know this all sounds pretty childish but on the other hand they're valid feelings in my book.

What would you do?

[enlighten me]

Its understandable to want revenge. Revenge is a double edged sword though as it will cut you just as much as them. I have often thought about revenge but I realise that it wont solve anything. In the end I would just end up feeling guilty for stooping that low.

Your best revenge on him is to wish him a long relationship. If your ex is anything like mine then it will become a living hell for him.

Your best revenge on her is to go on and have a happy life without her. This is something mine will never have as they don't allow themselves to stay happy long.