Sibling with BPD causing issues for parents

[Monkeymagic]

My sibling has borderline personality disorder and has caused my parents a lot of pain and stress over the years. The issues will be familiar to many here - anger, threats, emotional blackmail. Over the years she has been bailed out and helped financially many times so, even though she cannot work, she has always been supported by her partner and my parents financially.

However, she has just broken up with her partner and is expecting mu parents to bail her out again by buying him out of the property and refusing to consider moving or downsizing or looking into benefits. She has very little concept of money and how much she is actually asking for. They have said no, although they will still support her, as much as they can, and she is going mad and saying that they are obsessed with money.

My mother is also I'll at the moment and doesn't need the stress. Me and my other sibling are at a loss of how to communicate with her as she will just rant about how hard done by she is. Any advice would be welcome.

[Kwamina]

Hi Monkeymagic

Dealing with a BPD sibling can be quite tough. Has your sister been officially diagnosed with BPD? Has she perhaps ever received any kind of treatment or therapy for her issues?

I am sorry to hear that your mother is ill. I can understand why this would cause you to be extra concerned about the stress your sister causes. As far as communicating with your sister, we have several communication techniques on this site that you might find helpful. I've included some links:

Communication Skills - Validation

S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth

We also have some material here about the things we can do ourselves to end the cycle of conflict:

Ending the cycle of conflict

Take care and I encourage you to keep posting here