You reading Corey Waynes book, "How to be a 3% man"?

There is nobody better than him trust me.  If you start to assimilate that info so it becomes ingrained in your head you'll be a much different man.

I've reviewed his youtube page and some of his videos - they include:

• the art of pulling back to create attraction



• the games women play



• making her unable to resist you



• making her want you again



• how women subtly test you



• walking away to get her back



• when you stop caring, results come



• women who like you do this... .



• ignoring women makes them give up



• you gotta outwait and outwit women



• do this when she backs away... .



• best strategy to get an ex back



• the attraction of indifference



• rejected? the best comebacks ever!

I don't know where to start: the obvious contradictions; the games men play; the sexism and misogyny; where this can play right into a relationship with a pwBPD?

I think a lot of what Corey Wayne says borders on misogyny, I don't know what kind of girls he is dating and accepting to be preaching that advice but some of his stuff, about having a purpose, being grounded and not coming from a place of lack does ring true. However you don't need Corey Wayne to learn those things.

I found some of his videos helpful when it comes to valuing yourself…

like any advice, you take what you need.

im not even saying he literally says nothing true, although thats a pretty low bar. the guy is a glorified pickup artist. barely glorified at that. even when he states something "true" the foundation is very sketchy. for example, dont project neediness, "youre being a woman!". "youre being the gay male boyfriend!".  

what he teaches essentially is how to attempt to "manage" and push pull emotionally immature women. sure, you might get some of the results he describes if thats what you choose to do. or you might not.

many (most?) who arrive here are understandably, desperately wanting to heal. people like shari schreiber, shrink4men, or corey wayne for that matter, use language that attracts and appeals to such people. so do psychics. frankly i see little difference.

importantly, i think a great deal of what he says is dangerous for a person recovering from a BPD relationship. maybe even more dangerous for someone still in one.

his article here is a pretty good example of his attitude and advice toward women:

"Most women are bi-sexual.  However, if you come right out and ask them if they are bi-sexual, most of them will say no. Researchers have done studies with heterosexual men and women. They show videos of men and women having sex, a guy having sex with two women together (threesomes, foursomes, etc.), women having sex with other women, and men having sex with other men. The results? Universally, heterosexual men and women were turned on by women on women, guy on girl, guy and multiple girls. Universally, heterosexual men and women were turned off by guys having sex with other guys. What does that mean? All women are bi-sexual. They’re all lesbians.  "

web.archive.org/web/20120114075803/

Following his conclusion, either most or all males are bisexual too. Interestingly, he cites none of this research.

Back in May I'd also been watching Wayne. One thing he mentions is that if a girl is disrespectful or disordered we shouldn't be getting involved. Some relationships, no matter how sorted we are, just can't work out because the other halves are too messed up and toxic.

For pwBPD I think Wayne can give a false sense of hope and although some of the advise he gives on our own self esteem is valid stuff we may be in a vulnerable place to read that with our old rescuing hats on. It would have been certainly a danger for me if I'd come across him any earlier in my healing.

It sounds to me like he is recommending that guys with one type of insecure attachment style (anxious) should try another insecure attachment style (avoidant), as though those are the only options. Maybe that's as good as Corey Wayne can imagine for people?

Someone who has an anxious attachment style is more likely to cling and pursue (protest behaviors) when the romantic partner pulls away. Someone with an avoidant attachment is going to hold others at arm's length and be aloof. Neither of these styles are effective at creating secure attachments.

People with anxious attachment styles tend to be attracted to avoidant attachment styles. It's like Corey is suggesting that guys swap one for the other, so they can be the one pushing the partner away instead of pursuing them. Even though both are fundamentally insecure.

Skip said,
Having a greater self-awareness is the path to having a secure attachment style. A big part of that is also being an effective communicator -- you have to know what you value, and how you feel, to do that in a relationship.

Hi everyone. I am new here and I'm not sure if I'm posting correctly or if I'm even supposed to be here. I'm not entirely sure if I have BPD or not. But I came across this thread while researching further into Corey Wayne's work.

I have been following his work for about a year now and I attribute my early success in my current relationship to him. But reading this thread made me realize that following his work in a long term relationship might not be healthy. And lately I have been having problems more so with myself in the relationship. If I follow what Corey says, then I should leave this girl for someone who meets all my needs. But then I'll watch a video where he describes how you yourself can change over time and your needs can change and so can the needs of others. So wouldn't it make more sense to work things out with someone who you really love than to leave them because they didn't meet every single one of your expectations?

I would love to get the input of all of you because those who have posted here seem to have a deeper understanding of these things. And I want to be a better person for my girlfriend. Following Corey's work has made me hold in all negative feelings and kept me from fully expressing myself out of fear that it will make me look insecure and needy and turn my girlfriend off. It would definitely seem, as one member has pointed out, that I have become avoidant instead of anxious by following his work. What I really want is to be healthy and confident for myself and for my relationship.

I'd love to post about my experiences applying Corey's work to my relationship and what it has done for me and also discuss the story of my relationship so that I can find helpful and healthy resources to becoming a more confident person. Again, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be here or posted correctly so I apologize if either are the case. Let me know and any input would be greatly appreciated.