loving me...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

  I am recently seperated from my undiagnosed husband. We have been together over 30 years (I was 15) but these last 10 yrs have not been good. I have studied and read a lot in the past few years and I feel my H exibites at least 8 of the 9 symptoms it requires for a DX. He is exausting me and I could feel myself starting to erode, we(he) had another argument, the day after my & my sons B-day( same day,:) cool huh) and my UBPDh would not stop raging in front of my son, he's 19, meanwhile, trying to put him in the middle of this ugly thing with absolutely NO regard to my sons feelings or mine! Then he proceeded to call me the "c" word before telling my son and me both to get out! Well, I have decided this scene will never happen again. I will never forget the look of hate, utter hate on my H's face. nor will I ever forget the look of hurt on  my son's. I'm in counseling now to figure out why I stopped loving myself and why I stayed so long. I know who I am and what I want to stand for, and showing my 2 boys what a weak woman looks like was never in my plan, . Time to introduce myself to me again. Part of me will always love part of him, but part of me will remember that day also... .McB... l

[MrsMcB]

  I am recently seperated from my undiagnosed husband. We have been together over 30 years (I was 15) but these last 10 yrs have not been good. I have studied and read a lot in the past few years and I feel my H exibites at least 8 of the 9 symptoms it requires for a DX. He is exausting me and I could feel myself starting to erode, we(he) had another argument, the day after my & my sons B-day( same day,:) cool huh) and my UBPDh would not stop raging in front of my son, he's 19, meanwhile, trying to put him in the middle of this ugly thing with absolutely NO regard to my sons feelings or mine! Then he proceeded to call me the "c" word before telling my son and me both to get out! Well, I have decided this scene will never happen again. I will never forget the look of hate, utter hate on my H's face. nor will I ever forget the look of hurt on  my son's. I'm in counseling now to figure out why I stopped loving myself and why I stayed so long. I know who I am and what I want to stand for, and showing my 2 boys what a weak woman looks like was never in my plan, . Time to introduce myself to me again. Part of me will always love part of him, but part of me will remember that day also... .McB... l

[OnceConfused]

way to go -- loving ourselves. A simple, wonderful, helpful but often forgotten thought by many of us.

Once you love yourself then you can give that love inside. What do get when you squeeze an orange ? Orange juice, not lemon juice.

You cannot give what you don't have inside. -----

That is why BPD cannot truly give out love, because they don't have it inside of them, a concept of self love. Inside them, conflict is abound and so consequently they can only give out conflicts. -- you have seen them first hand here.