breaking NC was a poor decision it just knocked me back

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Knocked me back to trying far to hard for no reason... Made me look like the drooling idiot that was chasing her months ago... The point's I was trying to make still falling on def ears.  Nothing changed, I came off non chalant then I pushed and pushed and before I new it after 3months NC I had sent her a friend request 2 bouquets of flowers a week apart trying to explain myself. Just wishing for contact like what's wrong with me? I can't even see my actions my head is just firmly planted up my ass... How can't I see how desperate I'm acting to make it right? ... All that breaking it got me was more damage to my rep for "not letting her go... I honestly feel like moving away. That's how embarrassed I am... I texted her asking her to stop trying to clown on me on social media. She responded by saying give it up we have nothing and it's been like that for a while... .Why did I think after some NC that something magic would happen... She's right 3 months NC id a long time. 3 billion girls and I let one control me and take me for a ride like this. . What's wrong with me.

[problemsolver]

Knocked me back to trying far to hard for no reason... Made me look like the drooling idiot that was chasing her months ago... The point's I was trying to make still falling on def ears.  Nothing changed, I came off non chalant then I pushed and pushed and before I new it after 3months NC I had sent her a friend request 2 bouquets of flowers a week apart trying to explain myself. Just wishing for contact like what's wrong with me? I can't even see my actions my head is just firmly planted up my ass... How can't I see how desperate I'm acting to make it right? ... All that breaking it got me was more damage to my rep for "not letting her go... I honestly feel like moving away. That's how embarrassed I am... I texted her asking her to stop trying to clown on me on social media. She responded by saying give it up we have nothing and it's been like that for a while... .Why did I think after some NC that something magic would happen... She's right 3 months NC id a long time. 3 billion girls and I let one control me and take me for a ride like this. . What's wrong with me.

[Lifewriter16]

Hi problemsolver,

I'm sorry to hear of your recent experience.

I think it takes a long time for our logic and our emotions to get into line as far as our BPD exes go. I don't think you're alone in having to learn the hard way. For me, I always need to be sure that a relationship is truly over before I move on and I act like an idiot until I figure that out.

What's wrong with you? You're human!

Love Lifewriter x

[AsGoodAsItGets]

Desire to reingage with past partners is very do able, and can be successful.  I have done it twice with two ex.  Both wanted to restart the relationship.  The amount of work, showing them love and honestly not expecting anything in return is doable.    It's something looking back to only do with a Simi healthy ex.   The one ex after q year of showing love and friendship out of the blue, was ready to pick up where we left off.   Realised she was better off just as friends, she learned a lot from me and is now married.  The BPD ex , the same, she called one day, asking to move in.  Unfortunately I expected love in return, that she couldn't understand.  Look it's ok, to do these types of behavior.  Had three sisters, all the guys, who hit, stalked, revenged, responded with anger,  left them justified  with their bad behavior, in the end, men who they called pathetic were eventually painted white were treat as friends after many years and made them more humble in the end.  Please don't be hard on yourself for these actions.  Your a good guy, responding the best way you know how. 

[hopealways]

Desire to reingage with past partners is very do able, and can be successful.  I have done it twice with two ex.  Both wanted to restart the relationship.  The amount of work, showing them love and honestly not expecting anything in return is doable.    It's something looking back to only do with a Simi healthy ex.   The one ex after q year of showing love and friendship out of the blue, was ready to pick up where we left off.   Realised she was better off just as friends, she learned a lot from me and is now married.  The BPD ex , the same, she called one day, asking to move in.  Unfortunately I expected love in return, that she couldn't understand.  Look it's ok, to do these types of behavior.  Had three sisters, all the guys, who hit, stalked, revenged, responded with anger,  left them justified  with their bad behavior, in the end, men who they called pathetic were eventually painted white were treat as friends after many years and made them more humble in the end.  Please don't be hard on yourself for these actions.  Your a good guy, responding the best way you know how. 

Bingo! Any attempt to reengage with a BPD ex will be her opportunity to just stab you through the heart and push you away yet again. Don't try it, it will always fail. These attempts to reengage only work with healthy people who have compassion and empathy, traits which BPDs by definition lack.

[bpdsucks331]

Story of my life i agree stay strong pm me if u want