After a small relapse- I got off of social media, here's why.

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi guys. I'm sure by now a lot of you guys do not know me, my name is reece, I'm a college student in Texas. The first love of my life was a moderate BPD girl who ended up turning on me and putting me basically in an obsessive spiraling depression for a good long time of my life after everything stopped this past January.

Over the Summer I went to a Russian Language program in Vermont and met this absolutely lovely, smart, witty girl who really helped me through things and put things in perspective. We're still in daily contact.

Then 2 days ago, for no reason at all, I unblocked my BPD ex, and saw her new profile picture. To most people, simply seeing your ex's face wouldn't put you in a tailspin, but for many of you people, you know exactly what it did to me.

And so I decided enough fooling around with it. I deleted MY facebook. And it really irks me how Facebook operates by making you wait 2 weeks to actually delete anything (which really is just a ploy to get you to begrudgingly stay on it)

Why did I do this?

My ex goes to another school 3 or more hours away. And I don't just want the physical distance anymore I want the psychological kind.


I took this one step further. I deleted my snapchat accounts, and removed my reddit mobile application.

I know me. I get jealous. Always seeing highlight reels of everyone elses' "great lives" makes me super jealous, and virtually every time I logged onto facebook, looked at snapchat, I always got off leaving sadder than before. As for reddit, it simply is a bottomless time pit.


As a 19 year old college student, I am now going to get strange and befuddled looks, and strangely enough ardent defenders of facebook (out of nowhere) whenever I say "I don't have a facebook". It's only been 2 days and already it has happened.

To me, the magnitude of difficulty of releasing that burden of some horrible experience or person in your life is hard enough. But the fact that they can remain just a click away from you at any time (and the same goes for you, I'm sure she has looked me up, I'm glad she can't now) makes it so much harder.


SO maybe I will be the 1% American college student who doesn't have one.

I have a damn good reason.

By the way, to any of you suffering, I have a ton of respect for each and every one of you.

[Reecer1588]

Hi guys. I'm sure by now a lot of you guys do not know me, my name is reece, I'm a college student in Texas. The first love of my life was a moderate BPD girl who ended up turning on me and putting me basically in an obsessive spiraling depression for a good long time of my life after everything stopped this past January.

Over the Summer I went to a Russian Language program in Vermont and met this absolutely lovely, smart, witty girl who really helped me through things and put things in perspective. We're still in daily contact.

Then 2 days ago, for no reason at all, I unblocked my BPD ex, and saw her new profile picture. To most people, simply seeing your ex's face wouldn't put you in a tailspin, but for many of you people, you know exactly what it did to me.

And so I decided enough fooling around with it. I deleted MY facebook. And it really irks me how Facebook operates by making you wait 2 weeks to actually delete anything (which really is just a ploy to get you to begrudgingly stay on it)

Why did I do this?

My ex goes to another school 3 or more hours away. And I don't just want the physical distance anymore I want the psychological kind.


I took this one step further. I deleted my snapchat accounts, and removed my reddit mobile application.

I know me. I get jealous. Always seeing highlight reels of everyone elses' "great lives" makes me super jealous, and virtually every time I logged onto facebook, looked at snapchat, I always got off leaving sadder than before. As for reddit, it simply is a bottomless time pit.


As a 19 year old college student, I am now going to get strange and befuddled looks, and strangely enough ardent defenders of facebook (out of nowhere) whenever I say "I don't have a facebook". It's only been 2 days and already it has happened.

To me, the magnitude of difficulty of releasing that burden of some horrible experience or person in your life is hard enough. But the fact that they can remain just a click away from you at any time (and the same goes for you, I'm sure she has looked me up, I'm glad she can't now) makes it so much harder.


SO maybe I will be the 1% American college student who doesn't have one.

I have a damn good reason.

By the way, to any of you suffering, I have a ton of respect for each and every one of you.

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Congrats, Reecer! 

You sound GREAT.  I well remember your anguish from earlier posts.  Your struggle and hurt were palpable. 

I am so proud of you and impressed by you for taking such good care of yourself.  WOW.  You've come a long way.  Which is hard freaking work.  Congrats on a job very well done (and still being done).  You're one smart 19 year old!

[hopealways]

Good for you reecer! This takes strength. And don't think twice about others wondering why you are not on FB. It's no good anyway.

[Herodias]

It is smart. Facebook, as it's termed, really has put distance between people. No one talks anymore! The bad thing is that you can easily find out everything people are doing as you said. My ex has a 26 year old gf that posts everything to the public! More than likely for her husband and myself to see I suppose. But then again, she has always had it public, so I would think she would want to block it as her husband and I have done. Hard to know what people think, but it seems really insecure people post everything on fb and it can make some people think wow, my life is so boring compared to others... .it can really mess with your head on so many levels. Good for you!

[Pretty Woman]

Reece, good call. You did something healthy for YOU. As Herodias stated, Facebook really is Facebook... .people put stuff out there mostly for a positive reaction.

Do you put the worst pictures of you on Facebook? No. It's not an accurate glimpse into someone's life by any means.

Eventually you may return to it... .I did... .but my ex is blocked forever. My profile is on lockdown and even from another account you can't get any info on me off of it.

Proud of you and your decision, esp for a younger person (I'm almost 40). Stay strong. We are here for support!

PW

[Hawk Ridge]

I think some of my greatest healing came from not going on Facebook anymore. I found that i was often spying her profile or the profiles of our mutual friends.  It just hurt too much.  Moving on involves removing that which no longer serves us.  Thanks for your inspiring movement

[coldmist]

Facebook was being an issue for me because I was keeping tabs on my exgf and people close to her. I had to put an end to that psychological connection so I could move on. I feel so much better now after I had put my profile on lockdown and I completely stopped looking at theirs.

Deleting your social media profiles Reecer was a very wise move for yourself. Do what you feel is right for yourself.

[Reecer1588]

She doesn't control my life anymore or heavily influence my decisions. But i was seldom using facebook and the times i ran across her face I would experience the whole load of emotions again. And really I get jealous of everyone else's life "highlight reels" on snapchat or facebook.

Just look up online stories of facebook depression. I'm not making this up here.

Are there some positives of fb and snapchat, and other social media? I mean. Sure. But for me (and in my opinion for everyone) the negatives are just too much.

So bye bye. Time to live in the real world again. Talk to people again. Actually have someone ask me "what you been up to man?" And honestly know that he/she doesn't already know!

It's just weird, alright? It's weird that for millions of years we go with having to actually use the spoken or written word to get to know someone. Now within my liftime it's basically expected that anyone at any given time can find out huge amounts of info about me. See my face. My life.

I'm done. The whole thing is actually really freaking creepy when it gets right down to it.

[ReneeMurphy523]

Congrats for deleting FB.  Although, social media can have some positive aspects, more often than not it does not contribute much to real life.  A lot of time is wasted on it, and a lot of posturing/fakeness is done. 

I think it is great you deleted your account.  Although I did not delete mine, I do not respond or look at anything on there, unless I get a notification.  I have done this for almost a month.  It has helped immensely.  When I get the itch to look, I just remember how bad I felt when I did.  I feel great not being a slave to some social media BS.  Cause that is what most if it is :-/