I was with mine for 8 years, married 7... .just had an anniversary last Sat. No Contact... I knew it would be that way, but somehow hoped he would say something really. I see you realize yours has NPD as well. It helps me to focus on that, because the BPD side just keeps me feeling sorry for him and that is not helpful to me. Mine has been so awful to me that it makes more sense when I study the traits. U-tube videos by a woman named Dana whose site is called Narcissist Support have been really helpful to me. Explains allot of the behavior. I think mine loved me at one time, the only way he knew how. But now, since he has moved on, I think it's out of sight, out of mind. He would like to think that time would cause me to "forget" all he did to me, but that's not how it works when you have been abused. I thought mine would get a good taste of the new lifestyle he has chosen to mirror and not like it since we had so much together and now he is living a much different life. But maybe he thinks he deserves it or that it's less stressful for him, who knows. He called his new girl friend "cheap" which of course made me feel good!
So I would have to say it is probably full steam ahead to answer your question, but my understanding is that they can always try and come back down the road. The thing is, they will treat you a bit worse every time you take them back_I took mine back twice. It really is true, they lose respect for you for taking them back! How ironic. Take this as a lesson in your soul and your life. What is it you need to do for yourself? I am in a divorce care group right now. There is one person who has hoped her husband would come back for 10 years! Another one is waiting after 13 months of separation to see what "he" decides to do. I don't think I could do that, I want to be more in charge of myself and my life than that, don't you? Get out and do things, get reacquainted with friends- I feel alone too, I understand. I have to keep the faith that there is something much better for me in the future if I work at what it is I am supposed to learn from this r/s. One thing I learned is since they love bombed us and mirrored us in the beginning, we actually fell in love with ourselves, wether you know it or not- you like yourself. Focus on the good side of you that they imitated in you and feel confident that you are a good person and are lovable. You will project that and meet someone else. Just don't rush that like they do- they will keep failing in their r/s's because they never find themselves in the process. Best wishes!
