So family, tonight is the two month anniversary of me joining this site and i can't thank you guys enough for supporting me. I have been at college for about a week now and im adjusting fine, haha im majoring in chemical engineering so im sure my course load will keep me occupied. Anyway, emotionally im ok but definitely lonely. It's weird moving on with my life and not having my ex in it, but i think im starting to distach from her a bit because the other day i woke up and didnt think about her until about 1/2 an hour after getting up (wish there was a symbol above for milestone). I've met a few people that are nice but i still cant shake a sort of existential sense of loneliness, like for example: i met this nice girl on my second day while eating breakfast. We talked for like two hours and have hung out a few times sense then. It's weird because even though she's obviously just a friend at this point, i feel like im reading BPD traits into her. But I do that with a lot of people now, so i cant really be sure if that's just me being paranoid. I guess that is why i feel a bit lonely. At times it's like the world is full of either BPD individuals who might hurt me or people who dont get it. I know that's not the case but im sure we've all felt that way time to time. Anyway, i hate to leave it on a bad note but i assure you guys im actually a fair deal better sense say, Mid to late august.
Thanks again family,
SG
Great to hear SG. You are still young in your healing process so I think the "paranoia" makes sense. We just exited relationships full of emotional turmoil, it makes sense to be on edge. I am a year out and I still question peoples motives. I think we are so worried about entering another relationship (be it intimate or friendly) with someone with a PD we are on high alert. I think it is fair to say most people exhibit traits of someone with BPD.
The soundest advice I can give is trust your gut. Unfortunately in order to start anew we have to invest some of ourselves. In the early stages of our healing that is scary thought. Only you can control who gets to know the real you and who doesn't. If something inside of you doesn't seem right, listen to it.
You seem like you are making progress and that is fantastic. I wish you well!