Hello, Gvr622 &
Your frustration, confusion and pain are understood by the parents on this Board, and I'm so very glad you found us! Your description of your son sounds similar to my own adult (38) son, prior to his diagnosis of BPD in April of 2013, and subsequent treatment. He has been in recovery for that (and is also in recovery for a multi-year drug addiction) ever since, and is doing very well (his story is here:
My Son's Recovery-In-Progress). There is hope, Gvr622
First of all, please don't beat yourself up over his troubles; our kids with BPD needed parenting from us that most of us didn't have the skills for at that time. Treating them and bringing them up conventionally, and most likely similar to our own bringing up, probably did make things worse for them--but how would we have known? Please check out the links to the right-hand side of this page; all of the information there will give you an idea of what did happen with them, but you will also find tips on how to help him learn to function in this world. I do know that learning all of the wonderful information on this site has done just that for me and my family... .
Please read all you can on this site, and post more information so we can help you with this situation... .Does he live at home with you? We have some great Feature Articles that you will also find helpful, and you can find all 5 of them at this link:
When a teen or adult child has Borderline Personality Disorder. There's even one titled: "Am I the Cause of Borderline Personality Disorder?" and another that gives you information related to helping your BPD child accept Therapy... .
I'm glad you found us, Gvr622