I'm ready to admit my son has BPD

[Gvr622]

My son is 31, and as hard as it is, I'm finally ready to admit that he has BPD.  I've hoped it wasn't true for many years, but I think I really knew it was.  I have only one child and it is so sad for me that my one and only child is not "normal".  He frustrates me to no end!  But I love him so much!  He continually gets fired from jobs and never makes it financially.  He has turned his back on God, and uses weed.  Occasionally, and I do mean occasionally, he seems normal, but these are fleeting moments.  Even so, at those times I question myself as to whether he really has this illness.  But, I know it's true.  It kills me to say that!  What did I do or what happened to make him this way.  And most of all... .How in the world can I help him learn to function in this world ? 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[tryingRbest]

I am so sorry you're going through this! I am going through the same thing with my son. I feel your pain, we all wish we had the answers to make it better, to lead our kids to happiness no matter what age they are, they are ours. Just know you are not alone, I just joined here last night and I already feel a bit of comfort knowing I'm not alone. I've reserved many books on BPD at my local library, but for now I am here and google info.

Great is your reward in Heaven,

Pray often and stay in the word.

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, Gvr622 &  

Your frustration, confusion and pain are understood by the parents on this Board, and I'm so very glad you found us! Your description of your son sounds similar to  my own adult (38) son, prior to his diagnosis of BPD in April of 2013, and subsequent treatment. He has been in recovery for that (and is also in recovery for a multi-year drug addiction) ever since, and is doing very well (his story is here: My Son's Recovery-In-Progress). There is hope, Gvr622 

First of all, please don't beat yourself up over his troubles; our kids with BPD needed parenting from us that most of us didn't have the skills for at that time. Treating them and bringing them up conventionally, and most likely similar to our own bringing up, probably did make things worse for them--but how would we have known? Please check out the links to the right-hand side of this page; all of the information there will give you an idea of what did happen with them, but you will also find tips on how to help him learn to function in this world. I do know that learning all of the wonderful information on this site has done just that for me and my family... .

Please read all you can on this site, and post more information so we can help you with this situation... .Does he live at home with you? We have some great Feature Articles that you will also find helpful, and you can find all 5 of them at this link: When a teen or adult child has Borderline Personality Disorder. There's even one titled: "Am I the Cause of Borderline Personality Disorder?" and another that gives you information related to helping your BPD child accept Therapy... .

I'm glad you found us, Gvr622 

[Panda39]

Hi Gvr622

I want to join the others and welcome you to the BPD Family.  I wanted to reinforce what tryingRbest suggested about starting at the library.  I'm on this site because the man I am seeing has an uBPDxw (undiagnosed BPD ex-wife) and the library was the first place I went to also.  I found it helpful for me to read several books on the topic to get a well-rounded view of what BPD is.  One of the books I liked most was Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change by Valerie Porr.  I found it informative and compassionate.  We have a board that has book reviews on many books about BPD and related subjects here is a link... .https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=33.0

You are not alone and we all "get it".  I know you'll find support, ideas, tools and encouragement from the members here.  I also hope you will jump right into the discussion as things resonate with you.

I also wanted to point out the box to the right please feel free to check out the links listed there------------------------------------>

It's clear you love your son very much and he's lucky to have you.

Take Care,

Panda39