Trying to let go but afraid I don't know how...

[cyclistIII]

Hi... .this is my intro post and the site is having me write this before I even poke around the site so I hope I'm doing this right... .I don't want to write a novel here but basically I got dumped just over eight weeks ago by someone who, two days earlier, was head over heels and saying he'd never leave me... .it was a short relationship but very intense; I really thought he was The One. The break up was bad enough, but he was still insisting he wanted me in his life, cared about me, and we should stay friends; then two weeks later he shut down and angrily told me to stop calling him (he had never asked for space of any kind; quite the opposite; I was the one suggesting we should probably take at least a few weeks off before being friends, and he was the one insisting we should stay close... .)

Anyway, conversations with friends led me to do some online research and the symptoms of BPD coincided so closely to not only his behaviors but also emotions that he himself had described that I'm fairly certain that's what's going on with him.

Not only that, but I now believe my ex-husband (who I divorced 12 years ago) ALSO suffered from BPD. Which makes me simultaneously a) determined NOT to allow myself to get sucked back in with this new guy, should he change his mind and come back (which I think is very possible), because I know how hellish that kind of relationship can be, and b) terrified that getting sucked back in is EXACTLY what I will do, because I tried so many times to get over my ex-husband and completely failed, and things had to get so bad before I was able to leave him, and I don't want to go through that again, but I also can't stop thinking about the guy who recently broke my heart and fantasizing about things working out and missing the hell out of him, and sometimes I think I just need time but other times I worry that no amount of time is going to make me stop wanting to jump back into that fire if given the option.

So yeah. That's my story. Thanks.

[cyclistIII]

Arg... .how did this wind up in L2? The irony... .I meant to post it in L3; I'm very confused. Should I re-post or is there a way to move it?

[13YearGoodbye]

@cyclistIII: Welcome to the forum... .My most recent GF fits the profile perfectly for borderline personality disorder... .Makes me want to go back and run through the diagnostic for previous girlfriends and for my mother... .It seems to me at this point that any future friends that show signs of BPD will get dumped quickly, or at most placed in the category of 'Someone that I talk to from time to time, but about whom I must never ever entertain any notions of a romantic relationship."