Gridlock of a BPD and co-d can drugs change it?

[Lostindirt]

Not going to go into great detail... .I'll save that for my therapy and another post, but long and short of it is : I'm the pwco-d my girlfriend is the (undiagnosed) pwBPD. 

She has been taking medication for child abuse caused PTSD (diagnosed) for  about 18 months (4 different antidepressants tried and counting, 2 ssri's, wellbutrin  and Topamax, worst reaction of all). 

She has attempted therapy twice, but quit after second session each time probably because she only went once on my urging and once right after a mental health arrest sent her to the hospital (raging through house destroying things talking about suicide and tried to throw self through a bay window).  She now refuses to participate in individual therapy.  She has (reluctantly) agreed to participate in some sort of group, but she has told me it is because "you can just listen and don't have to talk".   

I keep hoping that a good (miracle?) medication regimen can get her past the constant anxiety and depression to the point where she decides recovery might be ok, but don't know that this is realistic.  She sees the illness as who she is (almost proud of it and cultivates it)  and acknowledges that it exists, but refuses to get help.

Has anyone seen a medication miracle? Where it changed the pBPD's perspective and attitude towards recovery?  Thanks.

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[Turkish]

Hi Lostindirt,

The fact that she seems proud of her illness must be frustrating. I have a diagnosed BPD (in addition to some other illnesses) who acts similarly. From my view, it seems like attention-seeking in order to cover cover core shame.

The meds are tough. I remember when my BPD mom first went on anti-depressents, and things got worse before they got better. The meds treat co-morbid disorders like depression or anxiety. For ersonality disorders like BPD, talk therapy is key. Both require a willing patient (my Ex forever refuses meds for her depression or mood stabilization).

The good thing is that at least she is open to group therapy, even as a passive participant...

Given what you've been through, how much have you learned about BPD? Take a look at the lessons to the right of the board. They can help you understand better, and Lesson 3 contains the communication tools which if you learn, can help reduce conflict.

The rage incidents sound concernng though. At this point, do you feel safe, or are her destructive behaviors concentrated on herself?

Turkish

[Lostindirt]

Turkish thanks for the reply.

Her illness pride is very frustrating it is a sad romanticization of mental illness. She states that she "can't change and that therapy won't work".  SO FRUSTRATING! I think she is afraid of the long struggle and still believes the terrible things her abuser told her to keep her quiet.

I feel safe for my person, but my possessions are another matter. From all the great learning resources on this site I would say she is a waif/hermit who directs her rage mainly at herself through SI or a desire to. She doesn't SI now and she says it's because "you (lostindirt) don't want me to". But, she has once and continually admits to wanting to when she is in what she calls her "episodes" (trauma anger tantrums). Typically the really bad stuff occurs when she drinks, but it can be as little as a single beer.

So do you really think it would be worth it for her to sit through group therapy? I just can see so many bad things happening with that if you are not committed to engaging in change. At least she would get the social interaction which she definitely needs and the education.

[Turkish]

Hard to say how much the group therapy would help. We can only go on her official diagnosis, but surmise the rest. That she's so rebellious against therapy seems to go along with her embracement of her disordered personality.