Validating projection

[Hmcbart]

Is it possible to validate a projection?

She's upset because she feels I was speaking to her disrespectfully and being mean. I expected her to dysregulate after cleaning for the last 3 days.  I came home last night with flowers and candy. I was hoping to get some intimacy going (it's been since march) and try to get her to relax. She shot me down but I knew going into it I had about at 1%-2% chance it would happen.

This morning I was trying to help with last minute cleaning before my mom comes to visit and she went off.

Her text is below:

You can be in the middle of something and not speak disrespectful to me. Is that how you treat people you work with and anyone else you work talk to? Or do you just save that for me?

You were the same way this morning.

I don't have to stay and be spoken to like that. This morning nor just now was I disrespectful, rude or talk mean to you.

I'm sorry if I'm exhausted from cleaning for 3 days straight. You don't get what you want then you shut down & turn mean. I've done NOTHING to deserve or take you being mean to me. I'm not going to take it.

I'm not sure how to validated something like this.  She walked out the door before sending this and said she would be back later.  I know she is throwing a temper tantrum but WTH! My mom and grandmother will be here in about 2 hours.

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