Rubbed her new relationship in my face

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi all sorry to post her I can't find where to start new topic, some help would be great, my BPD exgf discarded me and replaced me 4 months ago and had no remorse and rubbed her new relationship in my face instantly after ending our 4 year relationship, I caught her out havng cheated with her work friend and I left out house and moved into my folks, she begged me back the first day I was gone but once I tried to work things out she just went no contact and said she is in love with my replacement and has no desire what so ever to get back with me, a month went by and I contacted her to say hi, she said it was really nice to hear from me and that she would love it if we could be friends, I said ok but then she just ignored me and wouldn't want to talk to me or hook up, (I stupidly thought I might be able to win her back as I loved/love her deeply despite all the cruel things she has done) I'm now aware of BPD and it all makes perfect sense, all these stories on this board are so close to my 4 year relationship, some stories are word for word accurate to her behaviour... i always thought she was bipolar and in the early stages of the relationship I tried to talk her into therapy after seeing her self harm and have episodes, she never followed thru tho, moods were very random I never knew what I was gonna get one day to the next but when it was great it was wonderful, we were so close and best friends/soul mates lovers... upon catching her cheating she told me she didn't see me as a lover and only a friend... all of this was strange because only days before she told me we should have kids soon and start a family, so... im 4 months out and cant stop thinking about her, for some crazy reason I still love her and miss her deeply, but she is in love with her work mate she said the last night we spoke, I was very hurt and said some horrid things to her out of hurt and still being in shock and trauma, and she blocked me on all online networks and blocked my phone number, I'm still haunted by the sudden cruel ending, he seems happy in her new life without me and I'm still 24/7 thinking about all my dreams and our future that was ripped away from me, and all the places we went together and memories we shared, we only hung out with eachother... now I'm feeling lonely whist she is on a high getting attention from anywhere she can get it, she is even trying to hook up with with her ex who she was with before me which was a violent relationship, she got him locked up for attempted murder after he punched her for cheating on him and being devious, that's what he told me but she told me he was paranoid and violent, anyway her I am wondering if I should email her as that's the only means left on contacting her, its foolish but I miss her, I don't know what I'm wanting out of emailing her really, its just still effecting me badly having lost 4 years and a future we had in the making, was so sudden

[Rickybee]

Hi all sorry to post her I can't find where to start new topic, some help would be great, my BPD exgf discarded me and replaced me 4 months ago and had no remorse and rubbed her new relationship in my face instantly after ending our 4 year relationship, I caught her out havng cheated with her work friend and I left out house and moved into my folks, she begged me back the first day I was gone but once I tried to work things out she just went no contact and said she is in love with my replacement and has no desire what so ever to get back with me, a month went by and I contacted her to say hi, she said it was really nice to hear from me and that she would love it if we could be friends, I said ok but then she just ignored me and wouldn't want to talk to me or hook up, (I stupidly thought I might be able to win her back as I loved/love her deeply despite all the cruel things she has done) I'm now aware of BPD and it all makes perfect sense, all these stories on this board are so close to my 4 year relationship, some stories are word for word accurate to her behaviour... i always thought she was bipolar and in the early stages of the relationship I tried to talk her into therapy after seeing her self harm and have episodes, she never followed thru tho, moods were very random I never knew what I was gonna get one day to the next but when it was great it was wonderful, we were so close and best friends/soul mates lovers... upon catching her cheating she told me she didn't see me as a lover and only a friend... all of this was strange because only days before she told me we should have kids soon and start a family, so... im 4 months out and cant stop thinking about her, for some crazy reason I still love her and miss her deeply, but she is in love with her work mate she said the last night we spoke, I was very hurt and said some horrid things to her out of hurt and still being in shock and trauma, and she blocked me on all online networks and blocked my phone number, I'm still haunted by the sudden cruel ending, he seems happy in her new life without me and I'm still 24/7 thinking about all my dreams and our future that was ripped away from me, and all the places we went together and memories we shared, we only hung out with eachother... now I'm feeling lonely whist she is on a high getting attention from anywhere she can get it, she is even trying to hook up with with her ex who she was with before me which was a violent relationship, she got him locked up for attempted murder after he punched her for cheating on him and being devious, that's what he told me but she told me he was paranoid and violent, anyway her I am wondering if I should email her as that's the only means left on contacting her, its foolish but I miss her, I don't know what I'm wanting out of emailing her really, its just still effecting me badly having lost 4 years and a future we had in the making, was so sudden

[Skip]

This should help with navigation:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=230587.0

[mango_flower]

Hi,

Your story echoes so many others on this board - the shock, hurt, confusion, numbness and heartbreak.  You're not alone in this!  I wish I had some more advice for you, but keep posting and read others stories.  You'll have a little "aha!" moment from time to time, and things will resonate with you.

I swear this board was the only thing that kept me going straight after my break up - dark days indeed.