Another hit from out of the blue

[Didntdeservethat]

Well after 4 weeks totally NC my exptwBPD texted me at around 3am, typically the time she would be getting home from a bar.

We had been going out for 3yrs and she started to rage around 12mths ago when I started trying to help her in her own personal development. The irony was that she tells everyone that she is a type of go getter who works in charities etc however the reality is she was living comfortably off my money sleeping till lunch and drinking champagne enjoying all the attention that comes with being my partner. Her rages have been escalating and we have broken up 5 times in a year each time she would go back to NZ and drink with her friends bag me at my expense then come home.

This time after a disagreement she called the police and had me charged with DV which was thrown out because it never happened. This episode put me into shock and I asked her to leave. She proceeded to abuse me for 6 weeks from NZ guilting me into supporting her financially whilst she was telling everyone she had been in a violent relationship whereby I bashed ad raped her regularly. I spoke to our T who advised that I must withdraw from the situation as I was enabling it, I closed our joint bank account and she replied furiously telling me the relationship was over I needed to get help and she can no longer live in fear.

Since then I have had zero contact, a few of her friends have tried to contact me but I have gone under the radar. Late last night 3am she text me more abuse stating that I need to move on she did months ago and that I should stop stalking her and being so childish, she made reference to people not being stupid (not sure what that means). I've been told she continues to tell everyone that I am stalking her and following her kind difficult when I live in a different country 2000 miles away

Does anyone have any idea where that may have come from.

[shatra]

Didnt wrote

Since then I have had zero contact, a few of her friends have tried to contact me but I have gone under the radar. Late last night 3am she text me more abuse stating that I need to move on she did months ago and that I should stop stalking her and being so childish, she made reference to people not being stupid (not sure what that means). I've been told she continues to tell everyone that I am stalking her and following her kind difficult when I live in a different country 2000 miles away

Does anyone have any idea where that may have come from.

-----SHe is reaching out to you trying to have contact (though it's in the form of abuse).   For her to say "I moved on and you need to also" could be that she is projecting (i.e. she is clinging in a way but accusing you of clinging to it)

----People not being stupid----does she mean she isn't? Or that people you know "arent' stupid" and won't believe what you say about her?

-----Why is she telling people you are stalking her? Is that what she wants to do to you? Or what she wishes you would do?

----I have read it often on these boards and don't know why they accuse the non of stalking?

[Didntdeservethat]

Thank you for you advice, whats confusing is that she was so agressive in her acusation of me stalking her and threatening her. At no time during our relationship did i ever threaten her however now she is obsessed that i am a threat. I even asked her sister 6weeks ago why the change her sister stated that both her and her brother didnt believe any of the stories she had created and they knew i was not a threat. The day after that call she forced everyone to cease contact with me. A friend of mine helped me with this, "she cant maintain her victum story if i was able to derail it by way of the facts".

Ive read lots of cases of being painted black but she has created such horrific stories and continues to act the battered victum I am left questioning everything about myself and worst still am questioning if the girl i feel in love with was real or am i dellusional as she has accused me.

I watched the movie gone girl last night, she wasnt much different from her. My ex was diagnosed BP, SCITZOPHENIC, with BPD and npd behavioural patterns.

I am lost as to weather this was all a bad dream or am i this bad guy she is telling everyone i am.

[Turkish]

I agree with the projection. Unlike a pwBPD, whose impulsivity and distorted world-views are confusing enough, if your ex is schizophrenic, then her delusions are very real to her. She may fully believe that you are stalking her, when in reality she is doing it to you. It sounds like you are safe given distance. My worry would be ever going through customs in NZ for a while, in case she's concoted some story and made a report. Best to let this die down for a few months at least. Hipefully, her focus will move on as long as you remain silent...

[Didntdeservethat]

Thank you turkish

she has already tried to get a restraining order against me but for that to happen i would need to pose a genuine threat. Even though she was calling me daily for 6weeks abusing me i never contacted her once. I have phone records text messages and email threats through this period that supports this. I was in nz for 2 days last week selling my business interest there. I made nc with her or anyone, regretablly there was an article in the paper the next day about me selling out but i was already gone. She travels in socialite circles so i doubt they would read the financial section of the paper. Ive had plenty of legal advice and she hasnt a leg to stand on. My question remains why turn so nasty and destroy all and any good memories we ever had