i don't need to paint her black. she does it herself.

[NoNoNo]

i just want to say to all of you out there, what has helped me so much to start getting over this r/s, is realizing this: my colour is not her colour. my exBPDg might be painting me black or white. not that i care. i realized tonight that i didn't have to paint her black. she did it herself. she painted herself whatever colour she is, her true colour, right at the end, in the most horrible way. it is actually quite simple: do i want to dwelve in those colours? alien to mine? no. do i want to struggle with a 12 year old soap opera drama? no. she lives her life that way, cheating on whom she supposedly is falling in love with. cheating on me with a married man with two kids. she is a divorced mother, and her BPD is partly do to her parents' messy behaviour when she was a baby, so much cheating on both sides, it resulted in her mother abandoning her... .she knows this, she is conscious of this, and yet she plays the same movie again. my colour is not her colour. it all comes down to this: she lives her life that way, i live mine another way.