Six seeds to grow a healthy child

[unicorn2014]

Support

Respect & acceptance

Voice

Unconditional love and affection

Consistency

Security

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I received none of those.

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When a former therapist tried to do emdr with me to treat my PTSD he could not because I had no resources.

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Reading this book surviving the borderline parent ... .Has left me speechless.

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There's an exercise in the book where you're supposed to remember two or three times you remember getting one or more of these seeds. Can't remember a single one. I hope understanding the borderline mother does not assume there was anything healthy about the parents at all.

[Kwamina]

Hi unicorn2014

I am sorry you missed out on these important things when you were a child.

When you're raised by disordered parents, you will often find yourself struggling in your adult life as a result of things you missed growing up. Things you in an ideal world would have gotten from your parents.

We were powerless as children, but fortunately now as adults we do have power over how we move forward with our lives. Part of this power is being able to re-parent ourselves, take care of our inner-child and give ourselves as adults what we didn't get from our own parents growing up.

When you look at this list of things you never received, do you feel like you are able to give yourself some of them now? Do you for instance feel like you've been able to accept yourself and treat yourself with compassion? Have you been able to find and own your voice?

[unicorn2014]

Hi kwamina

I can give myself consistency and security at this point. I'm working on love, respect and acceptance. Voice is probably the hardest. My mom fed and clothed me but it came with criticism which is why I wasn't able to list it under security. I will keep reading as I'm able and share more. I am working a program of recovery around my adult child issues and this website is supplementing that.