Hi Charleespeech,
you are doing well

You can't invite someone to an event a third party is throwing. And you can't take her along to a romantic getaway with your bf either.
It may be worth exploring why you feel so guilty about it. Certainly a pwBPD can cause us to feel dreadful, walking on eggshells and being afraid of being the bringer of bad news. But then maybe there is more to it which gets you to feel responsible for things you don't control.