My life so far...

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi everyone,

Married 24 years, currently separated - she walked out. Has cut me black,  along with two of her sons, two sisters, both parents and both grand parents - way to go girl!

I've came to realise that she is/always was a BPD. I'm a pretty understanding guy but the ruthlessness of her exit leaves me gob smacked.

I honestly cannot remember her being 'sorry' for anything.  I'm struggling with the fact that my marriage was more of mirrage! She is not a high achiever and unless she strikes lucky I envisage a tough time ahead for her,  she has expensive taste.

Kissed me good night,  in the morning she left me with our kids, she didn't get back in touch for 12 days! Anyway,  this site has been really helpful for me, trying to make sense of the nonsense.  I take selfish solice knowing others feel my pain.

Just as I thought I'd figured life out it blindsides me.

Thanks for reading

[Pc6737]

Hi everyone,

Married 24 years, currently separated - she walked out. Has cut me black,  along with two of her sons, two sisters, both parents and both grand parents - way to go girl!

I've came to realise that she is/always was a BPD. I'm a pretty understanding guy but the ruthlessness of her exit leaves me gob smacked.

I honestly cannot remember her being 'sorry' for anything.  I'm struggling with the fact that my marriage was more of mirrage! She is not a high achiever and unless she strikes lucky I envisage a tough time ahead for her,  she has expensive taste.

Kissed me good night,  in the morning she left me with our kids, she didn't get back in touch for 12 days! Anyway,  this site has been really helpful for me, trying to make sense of the nonsense.  I take selfish solice knowing others feel my pain.

Just as I thought I'd figured life out it blindsides me.

Thanks for reading

[waverider]

Pc6737

Sorry to hear this has happened to you. Completely out of the blue behavior like this is not uncommon.

You say your marriage now feels like a mirage, or a facade. Do not take this too personal. This is a reflection on her life as a whole. It would have been as real as anything is to her while she was there. To her turning the page and moving onto the next chapter means blackening the past to validate her actions. Her version of the past will be revisionist with the true feelings of that time being overridden by her feelings of now. It may have felt like a sham to her now, but then it didn't.

To a pwBPD they live from one mirage to the next, they are constantly hoping to find solid ground in the next mirage, but they are not grounded enough to find it, so off they go looking for the next magical fix.

Expensive tastes are just another face of magical fixes.

Tell us more about the kids and how this going to affect them

Waverider

[Suzn]

Hello Pc6737

I wanted to add my welcome, sorry we are meeting you under these circumstances. What a painful situation for you.    What happened? Was there a recent life event that may have triggered your wife? As waverider says, a disappearance isn't uncommon however there are generally signs something is amiss.

Have you seen your children since your wife left? Are you and your wife in contact?